Becoming

I learned several months back about an email list called "The Daily Groove." I signed up to receive these short daily reflections and have found that about once a week or so one connects with me enough (in my journey of learning more about myself as a person and particularly as a parent) that I forward it on to Jason.

The one below was one I considered worth sharing more broadly!!

It rings true to me in many ways. It just so happens that right now in our little family we are enjoying many of the aspects of "becoming" as they occur in our daughter. A few months back it had been more difficult for us at times when she so forcefully expressed and clung to her intense favorites and clear dislikes. Thankfully at that time we were able to talk with some fellow parents whose advice was similar to that found in the message below. Jason and I were encouraged to leave room for change, without pressuring it to happen in a certain way or time.

Now, all of a sudden, we find ourselves in a position of being surprised several times daily by Kali's branching out to: try new things (foods especially), reacquaint herself with the red/orange/yellow end of the color spectrum, allow cats to be nice animals too, etc. (despite these things having been declared forever to be hated). It's been delightful to watch, if not a little stunning at times, even though it was suggested to us that this was the eventual most likely outcome.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

A Human Becoming

In a product-oriented culture, there's a tendency to
"productize" and "package" people. We often forget
that a human being is a living process -- a "human
becoming."

Children are especially dynamic -- often visibly
different from one day to the next -- and no two
children develop precisely the same way. This can be a
challenge for us when we've been conditioned to "need"
the predictability (read: controllability) of static
products.

Many parent-child struggles can be avoided simply by
allowing children to be different than they were the
previous day, or even the previous minute! A toddler
may "hate" peas at the beginning of the meal and
"love" them by the end of the meal, provided the
parent doesn't pronounce the child a pea-hater
in the interim.

Today, be mindful of the way you talk about your
child. Note that *labels* tend to productize. You can
avoid labels by focusing on the process. For example,
"he's a fussy eater" becomes "he's figuring out his
tastes."

Especially avoid "always" and "never" statements
like "she *never* brushes her teeth willingly."
Someday she will. :-)

http://dailygroove.net/human-becoming
Copyright (c) 2010 by Scott Noelle