We enjoyed having a group of friends gather at our home on the evening of June 4th to remember Nora with us, celebrate her life and continue to the next stage of her garden (digging a pit that will hold water and have a seating area above it). While there is still a lot more digging to do, it was meaningful to start off the project with some extra hands and the support and company of persons that were/are so important to us and who have been a source of comfort and care in our journey with Nora. Our home was buzzing with activity and noise, with about as many children under 10 years of age as adults present.
For me one of the most precious parts of the evening was watching Kali dig with enthusiasm in Nora's garden, and following that to thoroughly enjoy the company of our friends' children, who are now her friends. It feels good to plan things that she enjoys and can be part of that can hopefully build up some memories that will aid her in the journey ahead, if/when she finds herself needing to process more regarding her sister's death.
As it did last year the orange butterfly weed was in full bloom on the anniversary of Nora's death. And many other tastes and sights around us are also reminders, though I feel like I'm savoring them more this year than I did in 2008 - I had my first blueberry of the year on June 4th and while I remember thinking a lot about Nora while I ate blueberries in the days following her death, those days feel like a bit of a blur. We are also definitely enjoying much more produce from our garden this year because of the many hours Jason has been able to devote to it - thanks to my maternity leave!! Currently we are enjoying red onions, kale, swiss chard, lambs quarter, lettuce, snow peas, sugar snaps, various kinds of tea, nettles, and the hull peas are just about to come in. The weeds got the best of our spinach bed but we enjoyed many spinach salads before Jason mowed it off to get ready to plant the next crop in those beds. Kali and I are also enjoying eating our way to the mailbox these days, or just making trips out to the driveway for the sole purpose of snacking on mulberries. There is a batch of vanilla pudding in the fridge waiting to be eaten with mulberries.
I can't end a post without some "Alida-news." Last night I was convinced she couldn't possibly be my daughter. Here is how the nighttime went. She has started to make it very clear that she is ready for bed sometime in the 8 to 8:30pm range. This does not mean nursing to sleep in my arms - this means being put in her little swaddle sack and laying horizontal on the bed. She'll get a bit more cranky as she communicates with us that she is tired. I'm often trying to finish up one more thing, like a domino game with Kali and Jason last evening. When I take her into our bedroom and start changing her she calms down and when I wrap her little arms tight and velcro her shut she gives me a big grin. I turn off the light and then go about with the final clean up for the evening and getting myself ready for bed. She blinks and looks around the room, turning her head from side to side. I keep checking in on her assuming she must need me, must need to nurse to fall asleep, etc... Well, last night she didn't nurse at all after I put her in bed. She just eventually fell calmly asleep and slept for over 6 hours until she roused me around 3:30am to eat. This I am not used to yet, but I promise that I will be able to get used to it!! It's just so interesting to note, what I've always heard and believed, that every child is so unique and different. This difference is just particularly striking to me since sleep was very different with both Kali and Nora. We'll see what happens when I transition back to work and am not available to nurse Alida as desired throughout the day. Who knows, maybe she'll surprise us and also love the bottle - which we need to try soon! I imagine the chances are pretty good she might if her big sister is feeding her - though she is pretty fascinated with her Daddy these days too. We had a family meeting last evening to continue the conversation about getting ducks. We always end our meetings with a family hug. It was Alida's first family meeting since we haven't managed to squeeze one in since her arrival late March. That family hug felt so wonderful!! I love the people I live with!!
We enjoyed having a group of friends gather at our home on the evening of June 4th to remember Nora with us, celebrate her life and continue to the next stage of her garden (digging a pit that will hold water and have a seating area above it). While there is still a lot more digging to do, it was meaningful to start off the project with some extra hands and the support and company of persons that were/are so important to us and who have been a source of comfort and care in our journey with Nora. Our home was buzzing with activity and noise, with about as many children under 10 years of age as adults present. 
For me one of the most precious parts of the evening was watching Kali dig with enthusiasm in Nora's garden, and following that to thoroughly enjoy the company of our friends' children, who are now her friends. It feels good to plan things that she enjoys and can be part of that can hopefully build up some memories that will aid her in the journey ahead, if/when she finds herself needing to process more regarding her sister's death.
As it did last year the orange butterfly weed was in full bloom on the anniversary of Nora's death. And many other tastes and sights around us are also reminders, though I feel like I'm savoring them more this year than I did in 2008 - I had my first blueberry of the year on June 4th and while I remember thinking a lot about Nora while I ate blueberries in the days following her death, those days feel like a bit of a blur. We are also definitely enjoying much more produce from our garden this year because of the many hours Jason has been able to devote to it - thanks to my maternity leave!! Currently we are enjoying red onions, kale, swiss chard, lambs quarter, lettuce, snow peas, sugar snaps, various kinds of tea, nettles, and the hull peas are just about to come in. The weeds got the best of our spinach bed but we enjoyed many spinach salads before Jason mowed it off to get ready to plant the next crop in those beds. Kali and I are also enjoying eating our way to the mailbox these days, or just making trips out to the driveway for the sole purpose of snacking on mulberries. There is a batch of vanilla pudding in the fridge waiting to be eaten with mulberries.
I can't end a post without some "Alida-news." Last night I was convinced she couldn't possibly be my daughter. Here is how the nighttime went. She has started to make it very clear that she is ready for bed sometime in the 8 to 8:30pm range. This does not mean nursing to sleep in my arms - this means being put in her little swaddle sack and laying horizontal on the bed. She'll get a bit more cranky as she communicates with us that she is tired. I'm often trying to finish up one more thing, like a domino game with Kali and Jason last evening. When I take her into our bedroom and start changing her she calms down and when I wrap her little arms tight and velcro her shut she gives me a big grin. I turn off the light and then go about with the final clean up for the evening and getting myself ready for bed. She blinks and looks around the room, turning her head from side to side. I keep checking in on her assuming she must need me, must need to nurse to fall asleep, etc... Well, last night she didn't nurse at all after I put her in bed. She just eventually fell calmly asleep and slept for over 6 hours until she roused me around 3:30am to eat. This I am not used to yet, but I promise that I will be able to get used to it!! It's just so interesting to note, what I've always heard and believed, that every child is so unique and different. This difference is just particularly striking to me since sleep was very different with both Kali and Nora. We'll see what happens when I transition back to work and am not available to nurse Alida as desired throughout the day. Who knows, maybe she'll surprise us and also love the bottle - which we need to try soon! I imagine the chances are pretty good she might if her big sister is feeding her - though she is pretty fascinated with her Daddy these days too. We had a family meeting last evening to continue the conversation about getting ducks. We always end our meetings with a family hug. It was Alida's first family meeting since we haven't managed to squeeze one in since her arrival late March. That family hug felt so wonderful!! I love the people I live with!!
No comments:
Post a Comment