Today is Terah's two week old birthday! It is likely a mere coincidence but on both her one week and her two week birthday she has been wide awake the hour or so before her birth time of 5:15 a.m. Hopefully that will not be a pattern that continues indefinitely, but in these first two weeks it has given me quiet moments to reflect on the time around her birth - a precious, precious time to remember! In most ways it feels like more than two weeks ago! For me right now all the days and nights kind of run together caring for a newborn 24/7. Yet each day also seems to include big changes - Terah is very, very busy being good at being a baby (yesterday I think I counted about 3 poopy and 6 wet diapers between about 6-9 a.m.). It's no wonder that hours pass and I try to figure out what on earth I've done other than nurse a baby and change diapers in a cyclical pattern - maybe that's because the answer is "not much!"
It's a tricky thing to figure out when to start on a non-baby-care project and when to not bother. It is normalizing for me to do things that feel like me - hang out laundry, cook a meal, do some food processing task (I got 4 gallons of broccoli in the freezer yesterday!), go outside to harvest some herbs that have survived our first two frosts, write a blog post, download pictures, play games with the girls, etc... But I find that I have a harder time getting the maximum pleasure out of any of those things since I am never sure when I'll be interrupted and have to abandon the project midway or try to continue one handed. We've been really grateful for the little blue seat that her Aunt Anna got for Nora as Terah seems to really like it (for short periods of time at least!). Right now Terah is happily asleep in the front pack and I've got a number of started tasks: this blog post, a sink full of dirty dishes, sweet potatoes roasting for lunch, a carrot top quiche halfway made and biscuits ready to mix and bake. What to do first?!?!
The timer rang and made my decision for me. The quiche is now baking and I've got 15 or so minutes before the biscuits need to go in. We'll see if I can get this written in that time and if Terah's belly alarm holds off for awhile yet. Oh, I also need to pump sometime (Terah's is likely to catch up with my supply soon, but to date our older girls are still enjoying creamy antibody-filled mugs of hot chocolate each morning). Anyway, back to the unfinished projects, it seems I either need a few more hands, more minutes in the day or to not need to have some productive time in my day to feel okay about the day and about me!
Right now feeling "normal" or anywhere close to normal is pretty important. It felt like the first week of Terah's life I rode on some kind of high from the birth, as well as benefiting from my mom's presence and help. The second week has been just as full of beautiful moments, as the pictures embedded here will show, but I've found that my emotions are all over the map in this second week. I've been grateful for a few times alone at home with Terah to do some journaling. In one of those sessions as I looked at the array of colors on the mountain in front of me, it hit me again that October is Nora's birth month too and that there is something so striking about the transformation in the world outside at this time of year that will always remind me of those weeks leading up to her birth and the uncertainty that that time held for our family. So I imagine some of my emotions are from holding those experiences close at a time when we are also caring for a newborn in our home, albeit a very different set of circumstances this time around.
I find myself going back to my mindfulness class these days and the things that I learned from that intense time of practice, even if I've been horrible at continuing the daily practices. When Alida was born and I experienced some "baby blues" I was full of feelings of guilt about it - how could I feel sad when we had a perfectly normal, wonderful, healthy baby to enjoy! Somehow my sadness got all mixed up in the feelings of wonder and gratitude that I also felt. This time around when the feelings started coming, I was able to recognize it more quickly and start thinking of things that might help me to be present to those feelings and also to acknowledge that they will not last forever and that there is nothing wrong with feeling a little teary here and there. After all, a rather monumental change took place in our little corner of the world...
There have been some things that have helped! We've had a little surge of visits from friends that has boosted my spirits, as well as some of those visits contributing to a well stocked fridge and full content tummies. I've gotten outside on a few occasions to pick tea, raspberries, chives and herbs. Kali and I have taken the two younger gals on a few nap walks together and I got in on two shorts stints of leaf raking with Terah in the front pack. I'm trying to get a nap in sometime during the day, but haven't been as consistent at that, due to all the other things I want to do during Terah's naps. It also helps that I'm getting a bit more sleep at night (some nights), though it is still amazing if I get more than 2 hours at a time (I think that has only happened a handful of times to date).
I know that one thing that made the week harder was that Tuesday evening Terah had her first (and last) inconsolable fussy time. It broke all our hearts!! We had hosted our small group and she hadn't really settled all evening. But when they left, she took the floor and cried herself into a state of complete exhaustion. It was probably not more than 10-15 minutes of crying but it felt like hours. I think we all felt a bit rattled by the evening and were nervous the next day about whether our happy baby was no more and if fussy times were the new normal. She's definitely been clearer about her needs, and her distaste for those needs not being met proactively. But she has been much more consolable in the days since,and has graced us with smiles that are beyond precious! So maybe it was the breakfast and lunch that included a lot of broccoli that day? That was one of the reasons I froze the rest of the broccoli we had - I'm too scared to eat it for a little while now just in case that was the cause of her sadness/discomfort.
I'll end here with a smattering of pictures from the week and a little video of one of Terah's many cases of the hiccups! Only babies can be so cute doing such mundane things!!
The girls still love holding her - though Alida seems to be reminded of that desire whenever Kali is holding her and will say things like "I never get to hold her!" She hasn't gotten less dramatic in her move to big sisterhood!
We miss Mom and Dad! A recent visit was much too short but they got in some baby adoring and fed us a delicious lunch before heading back to WV.
Terah and I napping; Alida not napping but letting us nap - I'll take it!
Terah's first car trip was mostly uneventful. She checked out great at the doctor - climbing above her birth weight to 7lb 13oz. We probably better do a few more car trips close to home before our big Thanksgiving trek to PA!
She seems pretty fond of tummy time and can move her head side to side, making her big sisters move around to look at and talk to her.
My goodness how I love these four people! Huggy-lovey time is one of those precious times savored!
Some of us rake leaves, some of us jump in and mess up the piles...
I wasn't fast but it sure felt good!
We are very grateful for neighbors who have lots of trees and don't want the leaves - a perfect win win!
Dad got in on the fun for a bit.
I did not take part in the flips into the leaves but Jason did!
Games are a very common occurrence right now - often with a baby in tow!
I think Terah's diaper changing station is pretty sweet - light from Martin House, diaper holder from my friend Erin, clowns from a Yemenese CJP student and of course a very cute baby!
Making eyes at each other - or working on a diaper...
Today is Terah's two week old birthday! It is likely a mere coincidence but on both her one week and her two week birthday she has been wide awake the hour or so before her birth time of 5:15 a.m. Hopefully that will not be a pattern that continues indefinitely, but in these first two weeks it has given me quiet moments to reflect on the time around her birth - a precious, precious time to remember! In most ways it feels like more than two weeks ago! For me right now all the days and nights kind of run together caring for a newborn 24/7. Yet each day also seems to include big changes - Terah is very, very busy being good at being a baby (yesterday I think I counted about 3 poopy and 6 wet diapers between about 6-9 a.m.). It's no wonder that hours pass and I try to figure out what on earth I've done other than nurse a baby and change diapers in a cyclical pattern - maybe that's because the answer is "not much!"
It's a tricky thing to figure out when to start on a non-baby-care project and when to not bother. It is normalizing for me to do things that feel like me - hang out laundry, cook a meal, do some food processing task (I got 4 gallons of broccoli in the freezer yesterday!), go outside to harvest some herbs that have survived our first two frosts, write a blog post, download pictures, play games with the girls, etc... But I find that I have a harder time getting the maximum pleasure out of any of those things since I am never sure when I'll be interrupted and have to abandon the project midway or try to continue one handed. We've been really grateful for the little blue seat that her Aunt Anna got for Nora as Terah seems to really like it (for short periods of time at least!). Right now Terah is happily asleep in the front pack and I've got a number of started tasks: this blog post, a sink full of dirty dishes, sweet potatoes roasting for lunch, a carrot top quiche halfway made and biscuits ready to mix and bake. What to do first?!?!
Right now feeling "normal" or anywhere close to normal is pretty important. It felt like the first week of Terah's life I rode on some kind of high from the birth, as well as benefiting from my mom's presence and help. The second week has been just as full of beautiful moments, as the pictures embedded here will show, but I've found that my emotions are all over the map in this second week. I've been grateful for a few times alone at home with Terah to do some journaling. In one of those sessions as I looked at the array of colors on the mountain in front of me, it hit me again that October is Nora's birth month too and that there is something so striking about the transformation in the world outside at this time of year that will always remind me of those weeks leading up to her birth and the uncertainty that that time held for our family. So I imagine some of my emotions are from holding those experiences close at a time when we are also caring for a newborn in our home, albeit a very different set of circumstances this time around. 
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