August’s book report was a tad overdue, as the attentive
reader may have noticed. Given my New
Year’s Resolution to read a book a month, and my subsequent roping in of my
family by opening the selections to their input, combined with my wife’s
obsessive compulsive (not actually clinically true) personality, I find my own
self compelled, by outward as much as inward pressures, to engage a tried and
true practice for catching up: CHEATING!
In this case the cheating is constituted by the using of a
book that was started over a year ago, and has been read by myself and Kali
together rather than just me. The book
is titled What if?: Serious Scientific Answers
to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by Randall Munroe. The blurbs and
endorsements on the book are a direct and explicit attempt to market to
self-described nerds. Kali is too young
to be categorized but is interested in fringe intellectual topics, whereas I
must own my identity, and there it is.
Part of it, anyway.
The book is actually a compilation of web comics by the artist/author
who publishes the online comic xkcd. As
such, it is not just wantonly fascinating, but also quite funny. Excellent fodder for people who like to think
and laugh as much as Kali and I, and that is why Janelle got it for us for
Christmas one year. Every now and then
we would pick it up and read a strip.
But recently Terah has needed more privacy to be able to fall asleep,
and our family James Herriot addiction had sadly run out of new stories to exploit,
so it made sense to use it as bedtime reading in the girls’ room. Alida didn’t understand it all, but enjoyed
it anyway, which was perfect because it allowed her to drop off to sleep
easily, after which time Kali and I would try to muffle our giggles a little
and try to keep from reading ‘til midnight.
To get a sense of the kinds of things discussed, imagine
trying to understand what would happen if a baseball were hurled at 90% the
speed of light (it’d be a pretty big problem…details in the book) or if a wall
were built in the shape of the periodic table of the elements, constructed from
one-cubic-foot solid blocks of each of those elements in their places. Such a wall would have to be built from the
top down, since the bottom row contains several blocks that would each
obliterate everything in their surroundings immediately upon their
creation. So, yes, some of it gets
pretty gory, but there are also pleasanter considerations, such as whether you
could drop a piece of meat from high enough to cook it with the frictional heat
arising from high-speed passage through the atmosphere. Turns out you run a fine line between
charring it to bits and cooling it more than you heat it. The best compromise would be a crispy-charred
surface with a dead raw middle. Highly
unsatisfying as an entrée (I don’t foresee a restaurant where your steak plops
onto your plate from outer space automatically cooked any time soon), but quite
satisfying to follow along with the author as he considers the question.
The questions come from the public, who can submit them on
his website, and he peppers the book with little breaks to consider some of the
oddest, most eyebrow-raising ones he has received, which he calls “Weird and
Worrying questions from the What-if inbox.”
Many a chuckle for the Myers-Benner nerd contingent was thereby
procured.
No quotes this time, just a recommendation: If a person is nerdy and frivolously curious,
they would be well-served to pick up a copy of What if?
P.S. Please note that
I am not now behind, but rather ahead
of my resolution’s stated parameters. My
dear wife is so pleased!
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