Nora's 10th birthday, fall beauty, soccer coming to a close...

After welcoming a day yesterday of rain and clouds and wind, today has dawned bright and beautiful. The colors outside are spectacular and the air is fresh and has that rain-washed clean feel to it. Not that I have been out in it much, but that is the reward dangling in front of me for just as soon as I get this post published! You see we hope to start the week out right. Recently in a family meeting, we all contributed to a list of things we'd like to include in each week. With the days shortening, we have had a hard time squeezing in a few of them. So we are going to head out in the middle of the day for some family badminton before Terah's afternoon nap. Here's the list: a mommy-daddy jog, family walk and/or bike ride, mommy reading Alida to sleep, family game, music time, dedicated "school-related stuff" time for Kali, and most recently added is outdoor/yard time together. Somehow it doesn't seem like it should be hard to fit these 7 things in one time every 7 days but it has proved to take considerable intentionality to do it!

Today feels like a day to prioritize one or more of those items. It feels like a day to do as much together as we can, to savor being together, to enjoy each other. Ten years ago today the future felt pretty uncertain and, for both Jason and I, there were some very dark moments. We welcomed little Nora Lynne into our family and wondered what the future would look like for her and for us. Ten years later, I feel lots of emotions. The grief has morphed and changed over the years. There is still sadness and some tears, but also a sense of gratitude and fullness. Our lives are beautiful in so many ways, and some of those ways are because of Nora and for that we feel really grateful.

Nearly 40 others joined us last night for a very orange party; each one present has been an important part of our journey over the last decade. Some knew Nora well, others never got to meet her and know her only through our sharing of stories. As I went around the room and introduced who was in the circle and how we knew them, I felt like bursting: here all together were friends, family, the triplets I gave milk to, the woman that hosted us in Charlottesville and provided much more than just a bed to sleep in, Nora's playmate and buddy on the cusp of turning 10 herself, friends who journeyed with us as we tried to decide whether we had the courage to try again, some of my women bosom friends who have walked with me (literally) over these years and helped me navigate life's ups and downs, and of course my own dear family (my lover and life partner who has shared all of this with me and our larder full of three beautiful gals! 

In the weeks leading up to our blood drive and last night's gathering, Jason and I have both done what we do best it seems. I've organized and planned and prepared for the gatherings we have hosted, throwing myself into the details and into corresponding with those joining us. It has given me a chance to think about and share stories and engage with others, which is always meaningful for me. Jason has spent parts of multiple days digging soil, heaving around heavy rocks and forming the fun climbing/sliding and waterfall feature in Nora's garden. In evening times, he has learned a new song Garden Rose that reminds him of Nora. While he felt no performance urge, he was willing to share the song with those gathered last night. I could listen to him sing it daily! Below are his slightly modified lyrics. I think it won't be hard to tell why he thinks of Nora, and all our daughters, when he sings this:

I have lived as a garden rose,
It is the only life I’ve known.
I’ve felt the touch of tending hands,
I get my rain from a watering can.

Now from the time I was a seed,
I have had everything I need.
And I grew strong and I grew tall,
Until the day I could see past that garden wall.

I always thought that my life was enough,
Till I saw your face so brilliant and so rough.
You were shining right back up at the whole sky,
Handing out smiles to travelers passing by

Now tell me something little wildflower,
Can you make some room for me?
'Cause I will climb out of this garden,
And put my feet down in the weeds.

Now if those oak trees all were acorns,
And if caterpillars turn to butterflies,
Can you give me one good reason,
Why a rose should not become a weed by and by.

'Cause don’t the sunshine lay the warmest,
On the shoulders of the wild?
And don’t the breeze touch the sweetest,
On the face of its own child?

And tell me something, little wildflower,
Have you made some room for me?
'Cause I will leave these walls forever,
And lay me down among the weeds.
A little wildflower I will be.

When not preparing for Nora's 10th birthday, we've been getting in the fall/winter groove. Jason has started the yearly fall cut back, we've started sorting dried beans and shelling corn will commence soon, we are harvesting the last of the fall raspberries and still picking up persimmons to pop in our mouths when we walk down the path to the yard, and we have been trying to use as much veggie amaranth as we can consume before it freezes (the girls enjoyed making a large batch of green noodles the other day and I mostly survived the project without pulling my hair out)! And, finally, the girls are savoring the last weeks of fall soccer. It's been a fun and good season for both of them. 

Jason is tending 100 plus chicks, with the hopes of having at least half of those turn out to be females (for an order of 50 hens that he hopes to fill of his Shenandoah breed - yay, for someone catching the vision for that breed!). He was able to hatch chicks over four weeks and has mostly integrated those hatchings successfully. We had one sad attempt at having a mama live at peace with her brood and another and were able to remove her quickly after she had pecked just one chick to death. Hate that! Another night they got too cold and piled up on each other under the one heat lamp we had (have since borrowed a second) and we lost 8 that night. Hate that too! So last night as the wind was blowing, Jason went out and lowered the heat lamp and also put up some plastic and other wind barriers. They all made it through the night and I think he has a set up now that will keep them all comfortable as they grow!

Ok, things are breaking down in the front room (probably time for a diaper change, a nursing break, and getting this family on to another activity). I'd say that next activity is to move to the outdoors for some sunshine! In closing, don't want to forget to mention that we continue to enjoy special times with our niece Ivy (and of course her parents too!). We enjoy the routine meals together, but also are happy for times that forge new special memories. This past week we trekked up the hill behind their home together to sit and look at the colorful mountain in front of us, visit Blake's tree, and watch the girls tear around after each other or the little ones toddle around on the blankets and flop in the grass. While we are aware of our biased opinions, who can deny that this is a pretty adorable quad of gals?!