Monday, April 11, 2011

Nora's binky...

Last evening included a first for us. Two nights ago Alida was fussy for much of her aunts' visit - from about 6-9pm. I was very much hoping this wasn't a "new stage" we were entering and the jury is still out on that but last night included a repeat of the previous - though with me a bit less anxious about what was wrong with her since I almost expected we might face some evening fussiness, and it was so like the night before. Still anything but enjoyable, and I've already started to wonder how parents of colicky babies come out of the experience sane!

At one point yesterday Jason said, "maybe this girl is going to need a pacifier" as she had come out sucking - had a little red welt on her hand by the time she was 24 hours old from sucking. Well, we didn't get one at the hospital as we had said "no pacifier." Kali never used one and Nora didn't suck on one, though she found a lot of enjoyment in playing with one. For a moment I didn't think we had one - then we remembered that Nora had two - one is in her memory box and the other in the attic in our box of memorabilia and grief resources. So when the crying started in earnest last evening Jason rummaged through the attic and came down with Nora's binky. We were grateful for it - another one of those sweet sad moments to see Alida sucking on it - though mixed with a lot of relief for the quiet moments it provided.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Have we mentioned that she's cute??

I know we won't continue posting at this rate, but it seems that each day holds so many monumental moments [or momentous monuments, comments Jason] - even though each day also holds a lot of the very same (more or less mundane) activities... It's just that it includes a little person that was inside my belly a week ago!

We have been so grateful for the presence of my parents this week to help out - making meals, doing dishes, cleaning up after us, playing with Kali, etc... It seems they have also enjoyed being able to savor some of Alida's first moments adjusting to life on Fruit Farm Lane. Today was an exciting day in that they moved the first of their things into the in-law quarters! As I sat up in their living room rocking Alida in their rocking chair, I was a bit overwhelmed with the flood of emotions I felt - this has been a year of a lot of changes! And while change can be absolutely wonderful, as we would consider both the new quarters attached to our house and Alida's entrance into our family, it can also bring with it a whole array of emotions.

Today was definitely my most "sappy" day thus far. And it was probably timely that my "sappy" day didn't coincide with a few days that have seemed to be more emotional for Kali. She is adjusting so well overall to Alida's presence - she never wants to miss a diaper change, has picked out all the outfits Alida has worn thus far, will watch her for me if I go to another room, holds her and seems to soak up all her little features (or just enjoy her on her lap while she reads)... None of her emotions have been directed at Alida and have more come out at the adults around. But today felt much more like a "normal day" on the home front.

Kali and I even enjoyed making fresh homemade green pasta for dinner. And I was able to make ricotta cheese with this week's milk - the butter still needs to be made before the day is over! And I also did a lot of baby-holding. I'm attempting to be gentle with myself and just notice how hard it is for me to soak up these precious, never to be repeated, days with Alida. She is already changing so fast and I want us to hold her and savor these moments. But I have to admit needing to fight against my tendency to cater to a "to do" list and how odd it feels to have a very short one right now - though quite important with the main task to "grow a baby."