Great Aunt Eleanor's visit

It may be awhile till I work down my list of "bloggable" items, but some things just need a post of their own and this is one of them! Every time we've savored a visit from my great aunt it has always felt too short, for her and for us! So sometime this summer I hatched the idea of her coming and spending some time in my parents' quarters when they were not using it. As one should when hatching ideas that involve other people, I floated the plan with her and she liked it! So it went from idea to a scheduled visit that we all eagerly anticipated! I tend to be someone who looks forward to things so much that when the actual event happens I can feel disappointed that it doesn't live up to my dreamed up expectations. Not so this time around! I had so many "heart full" moments in the 9 days she joined us at Tangly Woods. I'll share just a few snippets here!

We enjoyed a lot of good food together! At Tangly Woods we revel in seasonal fresh foods and it is always a source of joy to share them with others who appreciate good food and also understand the work that goes into taking something from a seed to a meal on the table! We were grateful to two of Eleanor's daughters who provided transportation for her on either end of her visit and on the front end, we got to enjoy a meal all together. The meal was rushed for me and Kali as we had to head into town for Kali's practice (see future blog post for that news!!), so we didn't get to sit and savor the apple pie and peach kuchen. That said, it is notable in that we have enjoyed enough of both fruits this year to make things with them (the clay spray is starting to pay off we think)!

In some ways I felt like I didn't have as much laid back time for visiting as I had hoped (due to changes in Kali's schedule and my own work schedule), but it felt like such a gift for our girls to get so much quality time with their great, great aunt! My sense was that it was equally savored by all. It seems to me that Terah and Aunt Eleanor enjoyed a special connection, despite Terah sometimes being very hard to understand. They seemed to be able to connect without words just fine! It was cute how a couple of times during the week Terah would just disappear. I wasn't worried but after a period of time, it seemed the responsible thing for me to go and check on her whereabouts. Here's what I would find: 

 or:

In those moments, it was as if I could actually feel my heart swell! There was coloring together, putting puzzles together, reading books and looking at blog books together, shelling seeds beans, etc... all the while interspersed with getting to hear stories from Aunt Eleanor's life. So many treasures!   

She was so in tune with both the beauty and joy of living in a place like Tangly Woods and the incredible amount of work it is. That seems to be a unique combination! At one point she commented about something we were up to that she didn't even want to look at that much work. I also learned that her recurring bad dreams are about doing laundry or cooking for people. When I learned that for a long time she did laundry by hand every day, I was not surprised that she has nightmares about doing laundry or that getting in touch with immense amounts of work is no longer all that pleasant!

That said, she was so happy to pitch in here and there and we pretty much had a resident dish washer for the week! She washed so many dishes for us!! 

During the week, we also enjoyed a visit from one of my second cousins - Eleanor's granddaughter - and her little girl for brunch. It was a fun time of connecting and having them enjoy Tangly Woods for the first time. It felt like a week of truly savoring family connections across the generations. I also found myself feeling so grateful for the plans to have my parents age at Tangly Woods. I have to admit to experiencing some sadness thinking of the many people that are growing old in nursing homes and retirement communities that may wish to be closer and have their lives more intertwined with family. I can't help but wonder what we are losing as a culture and as human beings when all that wisdom and stories and love is partitioned off from us other than occasional visits. I'm not trying to simplify something that is clearly complicated, I just found myself grieving something that many of us seem to be missing out on (deep connections with our elders)! 

By this time in the growing season we don't have a lot of time for experimenting or adding anything to our daily lists. And, since I'm not a huge fan of black walnuts, we seldom do anything with the hundreds of walnuts falling from the tree in our yard. So how fun that the girls got to help bring them to Aunt Eleanor and learn from her how to bust them open and take out the nut. All the while, she would share how they did it other times and how much easier it was before they started rotting. My guess is her fingers still have lingering stains on them, reminding her (hopefully positively) of her visit! This is the only picture I got where she might be scolding me a bit (see the hand on hip) as I think she realized that I was taking a video. :) I could not help myself and she assured me to go right ahead if I was enjoying myself. I certainly was!!

There was large blocks of time where we didn't see each other and I think she had ample time to read books, snooze, look out at the mountains, and stroll around the property. But I think even the 9 days wasn't long enough to see everything so I'm hoping there will be another visit on the not too distant horizon! She helped me gain a greater appreciation for the place we live, a deeper gratitude for the work of planning out and living inter-generationally, and a desire for more time to hear stories and learn from her experiences and wisdom.  

 

One morning when we were chatting she was noting what a special time she was having and she told me, "You are adding life to my life." The feelings are so mutual! Can it get any better than when our relationships with each other add life to each other's lives!