What a life we have built!

For our 20th wedding anniversary (5 years ago today!), Jason wrote me 20 poems. This is the one I chose to share today...the one that resonates the most with my feelings on this day:

New Land 

When we came here, it felt
  like promised land, but
lacking love: each place we
  sank a spade returned our
effort push for shove. Dense
  silt and rocks, a little
clay told us the way that
  things had gone here. Ruined
soil still supporting life, but
  not a place a farmer's
work returns a yield to
  fill a family's need.
With gentle treatment,
  understanding, year on
year we've labored hard
  to mend the soil, found
our fruits, and watched the
  trees in freedom sink
their roots. We sow
  our seeds, receive the
rain; can this reverse the
  curse of Cain? Can
we discover how our
  home can be
transformed, the land
  become our lover?
So it is between us. We've
  found rocks under the
surface, felt what shocks
  of history have
taken. Was our hope for
  reciprocity and joy
mistaken? Go, now, if you
  need an answer, to our
gardens. See what love
  has done: soil, rich and
ready, seedlings reaching
  for the sun!

I've been thinking a lot about life building and life living these days (yes, it was something being reflected upon in one of the many podcasts I listen in on throughout the more laborious tasks in my week - such good cleaning and dish washing accompaniment!). This person summed up so well something that I have often sensed, but hadn't found the words for: Jason and I have been very diligent and intentional and thoughtful life builders. I feel very excited and in awe of the life we have built - our amazing children, our beautiful home, our healing land, our deep friendships, our intentional and continual work on ourselves... But I often have an internal ache and longing to be better at living my life. I'm often focused so heavily on the active work of building (and maintaining) our life that I really struggle to settle myself and allow myself to be fully present to living my life. Maybe that can be the focus of our next 25 years?!

I've had a lot of fun looking back at pictures of our young (VERY young) selves. This first one was taken at our birthday celebration in 1997 at the children's home in Bolivia where we were volunteering. I am very focused on the candles...Jason not so much! This was BEFORE we were dating and BEFORE any conversations about our feelings for each other had been had with each other. When this photo was developed, I did wonder...

This next photo is late at night when we woke my parents up in August of 1998 to let them know we were engaged. We celebrated with a bedtime snack of funny cake pie!

And then here's us 25 years ago on May 15, 1999! It was a beautiful sunny May day in Mt. Joy, Pennsylvania, not a cool and cloudy day like today in Keezletown. As I flipped through photos, I felt particularly grateful for the deep rooted relationships that I still enjoy today with people who were part of our circle all the way back then. And then I also marvel at the ways our lives have expanded and changed since that time to include so many others who have been part of who we have become since that day!

So that's the anniversary musings I've got for now. The girls are unpacking from a sleepover last night at Christen, Jonathan and Luca's (we left them there after our dinner together) and Jason is cooking up some fresh asparagus and some fish fillets from a friend. So here's some life building and living snippets from the last few weeks. It was two weeks full of the normal day to day stuff and also some bigger events: there were soccer practices and games, chicks are growing and we did our first chicken butchering of 2024, we celebrated some rainy days, there was Luca care times and Bear care times, Jason (and Kali) finished up a big Sassafras job, I attended a few CJP graduation events and we all attended a memorial service together, the older girls ushered at ASC, I had more doula meetings than I've had in a while and corresponded with some new families, Jason (and Kali) finished the first hay cutting and we mulched the potatoes all together, there were meals and games with family and friends, we got the summer gardens planted and the supply of aging cheddars is steadily increasing in the root cellar, I enjoyed walks with friends and we all celebrated Emily's graduation from her JMU grad degree together, AND THE MYERS-BENNER FAMILY DOG SAT!!!

Yes, you read that right! It's definitely one for the family history book and a first for us. Obie came to stay with us for 3+ days and it went great AND, thankfully, none of us are pining for a dog full-time. It seems we will be the kind of family more inclined to enjoy the dogs in our lives in smaller doses. But enjoy we did!! Obie seemed to enjoy his time with us too, soaking up the attention and enjoying the dog walking enthusiasts!

I don't think he slept as much as he normally would at home and one day he got to meet three other dogs and by evening seemed tuckered out. He was sitting on Alida's lap while we played a game and I looked over to see his eyes going shut and then his whole body started flopping over. We did enjoy some delightful nap snuggles!

He got to meet and "play" with Ezzie when Karen came out for a visit, but it was a supervised play date as Ezzie's love and enthusiasm was a little overwhelming for Obie at times!

Lunch is ready so I will not tarry on the rest of this! 

Terah helped Jason with the first chicken butchering and was impressed with the size differential between two of the roosters. With this small butchering we can RETIRE the heavy, bulky rooster condo for the time being. Yay!

We've had chilly soccer games worth snuggling up for and hot sunny ones! Alida plays goalie for 1/2 of most games which gives my nerves a workout! 

The rain has been so great for getting plants established and I love rain washed flowers - these are from Nora's garden.

We did the first comfrey cut back right before the plants flopped! Timing can make all the difference sometimes on how long a task takes!

Mulching with freshly cut hay is so satisfying, especially when your hay twist gets this long!

This is a RARE moment in our home where this vibrant, fun, creative, silly one is sitting still entertaining himself!

There was no sitting still during our snowball bush battle!!

While Jason and Kali joined the masses at the JMU graduation, Terah, Alida and I hung back to cook up a post-graduation feast to enjoy all together!

We have had some DELIGHTFUL cool beautiful mornings! My favorite for working outside!!

This Monday family farm day was gorgeous and we were able to seed cantaloupe, okra, cucumbers, black-eyed peas, trombone, sunflowers and delicata. We also planted out the flowers, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, peppers and basil. In between things we weeded the struggling onions and I weeded the cute oat rows. No wonder we were tired yesterday! And it was such a full day that I hardly took any photos...

Ok, there is gushing about the delicious fish so I'm going to go partake!

For everything there is a season...

Kali just took off for her final college class of the spring semester. If the younger two can tear themselves away from their feathered friends outside, they have a fun afternoon of sewing with Grandma. I've got a sleeping Bear on my front as I find myself pondering the seasons we have just completed, the ones we are firmly in and the ones coming up. To say I'm feeling pensive these days would be a bit of an understatement. My mind continues to be a very active and often unsettled place. There are things in life right now that are a source of immense joy, healing, relief, pleasure and hope and there are things that give me an overwhelming sense of loss, grief, failure and not enoughness. I'm doing my best (aren't we all most of the time?!) to let all those things coexist and to offer myself compassion for the swirling. What I'll share here are some of the seasons we are in right now that are keeping me on my toes, a source of chaos, and providing us with so much fun and cuteness!!

Chick season!! So many cute fuzz balls around here and more coming all the time! Right now we have a few fierce and protective mamas! But there's still opportunities for snuggling and adoring these little friends.

One day when Terah and Alida had Olivia and Caramel out for playtime they were peeping and the girls wondered if they were cold (it was before this HOT stretch). They quieted down as soon as each had a spot in a kid's coat!

Young and old alike, chickens LOVE to dust bathe! And wow how they can disturb and then move soil doing it. It's both annoying and highly entertaining AND we are grateful that they take their health seriously with VERY regular dust baths. Thanks chickens!

Soccer season! Most days Terah will ask when her next practice or game is. It's a very enjoyable addition to their week AND makes our week feel quite a bit fuller. I do love seeing them have so much fun out there. I, on the other hand, am pretty ridiculous in my ability to get all internally worked up during games - especially Alida's! Last night's was a bit of a nail biter, hanging at 2-2 for long time WITH Alida in as goalie until her team had a burst of something and scored 2 goals in the last 10 or so minutes. I felt my heart rate slow. Silly me! The kids are just having fun and don't really care much about the score, but it definitely brings back my days in competitive athletics. I don't miss that pressure and am so glad they have the opportunity to play in a rec league!

Alida gave up a game to have a date night with me and Jason - we had gotten tickets to see Dance Nation at the JMU Forbes Center in honor of her 13th birthday. It was fun and special to do something the three of us. I won't do a review here of the play...

Green season! Is there any other way to describe it? The mountain is almost entirely green and there are things growing and sprouting everywhere - plants we intend to have growing in particular locations and plants that are not intentional or where we want them (i.e. weeds!). We spent pretty much an entire Monday family work day on the side garden - weeding, redoing/mulching paths, transplanting raspberries, etc... It looks great in there, EVEN the onions (I cheer them on often when I walk past). I'm also babying my raspberry transplants because I'm pretty eager to pick white and red raspberries this year with our new and improved trellis systems!

The Tangly Woods' civic scientists (ok, especially me) are doting over our little plots. I was NOT pleased to see one of our two sunflower sprouts nibbled off this morning when I went down for my daily watering and adoration, especially of the little lentil plants. They are SO cute (this picture doesn't quite do the little row of seedlings justice). Anyway, I've put another round of Sluggo down in hopes that it will stop more nibbling from occurring. Alida and Terah have been as excited as me as things started sprouting BUT there are too many things to be excited about these days and some days the chicks have been winning the attention competition, if there is such a thing! I'm sure Jason is peeking in on the plots more than I know about, but so far I don't think he has had much extra bandwidth to pay too close attention (especially when there is barley and peas close by!)

Speaking of barley, I found this photo on Jason's phone and can almost hear him singing, "These are a few of my favorite things..."

Terah's definitely one of my favorite people and I enjoyed some snuggle time in the hammock together during her Mommy and Daddy time recently. I do love snuggling with her, until she becomes a wiggle worm and then the enjoyment plummets!

Seasons of growth and change! Kali and Jason enjoyed another day of Sassafras Enterprises work together. Who knows if this will be a one job thing or something they do occasionally, but they both seemed to be in good spirits at the end of the day. I'm still getting used to children growing up into young adults and how that changes both what they need from me and what they are capable of. This week it was so handy to have Kali's help with a car pick up from the shop after soccer when Jason was not along (this heat moved the "get the AC in the Matrix fixed" up on the priority list). 

Kali is not the only one helping with the business from time to time. Alida seems more interested in the bookkeeping and was helping out a bit on Jason's office day this week. He did lose her when he was trying to explain to her how his spreadsheets worked.

So many changes and coming so fast! A space opened up this week to finally help Alida and Terah go through their clothes (again)! In the months since we pulled the bins down from the attic, some of Terah's clothes went from too big to too small (she outgrew them while they were sitting in the bins!). And if I'm not impressed enough with the growth inside our home, all I have to do is step outside to get an additional dose of how quick living things can grow. 

Redbud season has officially come to an end, but not before I got to take in the redbuds and dogwoods blooming simultaneously. 

There are many pictures of peas and grains that come into our computer from Jason's phone. I guess the magenta pea flowers can take over for the redbuds for a bit. 

And the peach blossoms are gone, but now there are little tiny peaches giving us a sense of potential but not optimism. There's A LOT of things that could go wrong between now and when we would bite into a juicy ripe peach. But they aren't just enjoyable if we get to eat them. I get a little shot of something positive every time I look at this photo.

It's not a spinach year like last year but we are enjoying gobs of it fresh. Not sure how much we'll put up in the freezer but that's ok. Thankfully we have other options for freezing greens if the spinach doesn't pan out - though it is a favorite!

The baby finches outside our window on Mom's Christmas wreath just fledged yesterday. I know because I took this photo seconds before they all took off. I was worried that Dad might be quite upset with me for disturbing them but I seem to have been forgiven pretty quickly (and assured they were probably ready if they all flew off - HOW do they go from practice flapping in a nest to just flying up into a high tree?!).

Times of sweet connection! And then time with people we love! Times of connecting and reconnecting, of familiar relationships and ones that feel fresh and new. They are each different and each precious. Here's some moments I savored recently!

And when I say "moments" I sometimes mean just a moment. This cutie pie is a snuggler BUT he also doesn't stay still for very long. I was all ready for a long hammock snuggle but we got about as far as taking this selfie!

He was extremely patient this Tuesday when Terah was going through clothes. It didn't hurt that he got his choice of many things to try on and was very happy to prance around in clothes that were way too big for him!

Bear is now up from his nap and so the remainder of this blog post may be even more disjointed than normal. We're upstairs where he is happily playing with the plastic fruits and veggies with Terah while Mom and Alida are working on a comforter top. He's pulling up to standing now and really likes patty cake. He now imitates us saying "yay" at the end.

I look at the picture above and I'm taking back to scenes with the kids and their dear friends together playing years ago and carting Terah around as a baby. Look at them now! As they told baby Terah happens, they all have teeth now and no one is still nursing from their mama in college!

 

Having one of my sisters close again geographically has been a very sweet and deeply treasured gift. We savored a beautiful hike up to Hensley's Pond together.

A few days later Karen, Sue and Ezzie came out for the afternoon/evening! I love that our kids have outgrown most dogs now... Ezzie is now solidly a fun dog to have around for ALL of us. What a relief - I was eager for this day to come!

There's no seamless connection to these next two photos and I'm not even going to try. I just love this picture of Jason laughing. I want more and more and more of such moments! 

I almost forgot cheese season! The grass is green, the milk is amazing and I'm slowly restocking the cheddar cheese shelves! Other than a little of a strong cheddar that only Jason is eating and a small amount of parmesan from the rinds, we are OUT!

I'll end by saying that we are not going to get sheep anytime soon and (probably) not a rabbit, BUT Sunday made both tempting... We did a whirlwind of things Sunday afternoon - from a barn open house/celebration to an 80th birthday party to a concert. The only one that made me really pine for something was the first where we saw some VERY cute lambs and baby bunnies. That said, I'm gonna try to just enjoy the memories and the photos because life is plenty full without adding a new kind of mammal to Tangly Woods just now!