Potlucks, family gatherings, new friends, and maple syrup

Feels like a lot has transpired since I last updated the blog! I feel like I've been busier than usual, and am grateful to have now successfully passed the baton back to Jason on some things. He is 1.5 weeks post-vasectomy and is more or less back to his normal level of activity (except that he got a cold right on the tail end of the healing process and that has probably impacted his energy more than anything in the last few days). The procedure went smoothly, as has the recovery, for which we are grateful! And I got to exercise muscles that don't get near enough attention normally. My dad helped with chores for the first few days until he headed back to WV to work and then returned and had an ablation done on his heart (so I was on solo for about a week). I did it! And even mostly enjoyed it...It was reassuring to know I could keep the chickens alive and the compost toilet emptied without Jason if need be. But I much prefer life with Jason at normal functioning level as adding those things to the other household things felt a tad overwhelming at times (to say the least). It didn't help that Terah had another sleeping horrendously stint in the middle of that too. I'm happy to report that last night was the best rest I've had for a good while, and (surprise, surprise) I feel more positive about life today!

We've enjoyed lots of good times with lots of special people: family gatherings, a birthday celebration, a stint with Mom and Dad upstairs, hosting a work lunch for folks helping our neighbors, and a neighborhood potluck where our new Kurdish friends joined us.

Yes, much of this was happening while Jason was trying to keep his activity level low and his feet up as much as possible. I was very, very grateful for Mom and Dad's presence around to ease the load at multiple crunch points! And Jason got some good reading and writing time in, which is something we want to be finding time for regularly but was made easier by this "prescribed down time." I think the hardest time of day for me was evenings - when I was worn out (and worn down) and was trying to juggle the night time routine while he lay reading. I know it wasn't as enjoyable for him, since he knew I was carrying a heavier load, but I will admit here that it took me back to my sister having a hernia operation when I was little. I remember noting how nice she was being treated and she even had a fruit/candy basket delivered to our house. I secretly wished for a hernia (thankfully, my wish didn't come true and I'm clearly not in danger of getting a vasectomy)!

A highlight of the end of his recovery time for me was spending a few hours at our neighbors S&M together while my parents had the girls. Jason was tiling a shower for them to make one story living an option, and he needed help with some heavy lifting and mortar mixing. Well that only took me a few minutes so I got to spend most of the morning helping clean and rearrange furniture to make way for a bed downstairs. It was really a special and unique morning!

We have been trying to enjoy the warmer days when we don't need to bundle up to go outside, but to be honest it's as unsettling as enjoyable. If I didn't also find myself reading articles about human extinction within the next decade I might be able to keep my anxiety in check. The night that I read that particular article I found myself googling "is there any good news" and found some nice "feel good" stories to read before drifting off to sleep!

Kali is yearning for winter. Alida is happy with the warm weather. Terah will go out in ANY weather - dressed for it, or not. Yesterday when I was at work she had a full fledged LONG meltdown/tantrum for Jason when they needed to come in from outside. She didn't want comforting so he just let it ride its course. She's pretty good at them. I get them most regularly when I try to get her off some piece of furniture I find her perched on precariously. She really is not trusted to keep her own safety in mind. This gal has a serious climbing bug!

Our Free Little Library is now official - complete with number and easy to find on the world map: https://littlefreelibrary.org/ourmap/. I know we've had at least two visitors (since I was with them when they extracted some reading material). We are trying to get the word out - as we need more visitors to work down our inventory (as we have several more boxes in the house to cycle through).

Valentine's Day was kind of an afterthought for me this year. We did manage to start the day with some heart shaped pancakes. But what really made the day special was our evening neighborhood potluck - it felt like a sacred and special evening to be able to introduce our new Kurdish friends to other neighbors who were eager to get to know them. The chaos of the evening felt so welcome and comfortable - lots of people enjoying being together! It seemed like they felt right at home, noting how often they have thought of returning home and how the evening with all of us took that thought away (temporarily, of course). I have found myself thinking often of late about the resiliency of the human spirit. I sure hope that if a time comes when I lose everything and must start over, I will show even a fraction of the strength and courage that I see in those around me!

The other evening we were treated to a family night planned by Kali. She had chosen a pamphlet from the visitor's center for an art gallery in McGaheysville. The idea was to stop there and then walk about the town and see what else there was the see. We were the only ones there and lingered as long as we could, before knowing we were soon about to spend a lot more money if we didn't get Terah out of the place (initially she was reserved and looking around from my arms but as she warmed up she wanted to explore and touch and hold everything). The girls enjoyed the old phone booth with working phone. They struggled with the outdated technology but finally managed to call me from it!

When we asked about other things to see in the area, we were pointed to the resort (which was the last place Kali wanted to go, so we headed to Harrisonburg). Until dusk, we walked around downtown, found some ducks to look at, some walls to walk on, a bridge to cross and then towards the end scouted out where to fill our bellies! We were about to head to a place we had gone previously, but I could tell Kali was kind of eager to try something new. I noticed a sign a few blocks away for Las Chamas and we headed over, glad to see a menu hanging outside for us to peruse!

After taking time to do a little convincing of our middle daughter to try it out, in we went. We were not disappointed. Actually every time I think about it, I ponder when we might get back there. The food was delicious (very different from the Mexican restaurant we tried on our last family outing). The atmosphere was simple and comfortable, the waiter kind and helpful, the food tasted authentic and freshly made, and it also brought back good memories. We started with fried yucca (to remind us of our Bolivia days) and some tostones (which I grew up having at home from my parents time in Puerto Rico). A great ending to a fun evening together!

That was Saturday evening and Sunday morning we managed to get all of us ready and out of the house shortly after 8 a.m. An impressive feat, let me tell ya! We were headed to Highland County for the day to hang out with new friends (who have taken on Jason's Allegheny chickens) who have bought 85 acres there and were doing maple syrup for the first time this year. Sounded like a fun outing, and it was!

They are housesitting for folks who are out of the country while they finish up their tiny house on the land. So we started and ended at the place they are currently living. We loved seeing the piglets! I enjoy mama hens with chicks very much, but there is something about watching baby mammals as they follow their mama around, grabbing a drink whenever possible. I chuckled when the mama finally found her way into the little house and laid down so the piglets could suckle more easily. It looked like she had tired of trying to walk around and do her own things with them tagging along and rooting at her. From one lactating mother to another, I understand!

Their land was beautiful - rolling hills, gorgeous views, woods, rock ledges, and the hint of a maple smell in the air. It's always refreshing to hang out as someone else's life project for the day - to just enjoy it and not have a project list running through my mind. It felt like a Sabbath day for sure! They have a little girl who is just a few months older than Terah and the two of them enjoyed playing together. Since we are (in some ways) pursuing a similar kind of life and we live 1.5 hours from each other, it's unlikely we'll get to do it often, but we'll enjoy connecting with them whenever we get the chance!

And finally, for anyone who missed it on facebook, here's our favorite little owl. She's about to wake from a nap, so I think I'll close for now:

Free Little Library and more

So life's about to get crazy again so I better get a few reflections/photos/videos up here before our numbers expand once again! Alida left last Wednesday morning for her week in wild, wonderful WV with Grandma and Grandpa Myers. To say she was excited would be nothing short of a major understatement! She had packed over a week ahead of time and had even put her trip on our family meeting agenda to talk about what she should take along and what things we would be doing in her absence. We've talked with her (or tried) each day, but we get a sentence or two about what game she has most recently beaten Grandma or Grandpa in and then she usually says "bye" and is off to have some more fun! We are looking forward to welcoming her home later this evening. It was even a long enough time away that we were able to send her a letter and we just got hers to us today. Pictured here is Terah helping me takes ours down to the mailbox - one of her favorite outings these days is a walk down the lane!

We didn't promise Alida we'd have no fun while she was gone, but we did offer to try to play the games she doesn't enjoy as much and work on projects that she didn't need to be part of. So we've gotten to enjoy Upwords, Boggle, Take One and Blokus with Kali this week. I will even be willing to admit that I lost to Jason AND Kali in Upwords last evening (and worse than losing is needing to admit that I was not a very good sport about it and was happy Alida was not here to see that her mother is not much better than her at losing certain games). I'm recovered now and am ready for another shot at it - though not sure Jason and Kali will want to play with me again so soon!

During the days that I was at home and with Terah, Kali and Jason had the goal of finishing Kali's birthday present (it was about time before we are closer to her next birthday than her last one). We had given her a coupon to build a Free Little Library with Jason to put at the end of our lane. Kali has photographed the process in extensive detail but here's just a few to give you a sense of the process and the final product, installed today! We are waiting for our official plaque that we ordered to arrive and for Alida to help Kali fully stock it, but there's a sampling of books now just in case someone stops by. We also hope to plant daffodils under it to spiffy it up even more - not that it's not already pretty cute! It's been really fun to see Kali and Jason getting lots of time just the two of them to work on a project together.

It worked out really well that they were at the caulking/painting stage of the project when the weekend came around. They were able to fit this in in the evenings, since the daytime was occupied with helping with the hog butchering up the hill. We were so generously assisted by neighbors when we butchered in the fall and were happy for a chance to help out in exchange. I should clarify: Jason helped with butchering, I made food! It was a large group gathered on both days and they worked up 7 hogs. Jason enjoyed himself thoroughly. The first day I didn't linger long with Terah and Kali (in part because I feel shy at these kinds of events when I don't know many people and partly because a good number of folks had brought their dogs and with multiple dogs milling around I wanted to make sure Terah didn't experience more "dog trauma" before she gets over some already unfortunate experiences). So we had a short visit and then decided to come back for more the next day. Sunday was so nice to linger for a few hours and join the crew for lunch before heading home at Terah's nap time. I joined the inside folks of mostly kids and our neighbors S&M. As our neighbor S's mobility decreases due to advancing prostate cancer, I welcome and savor any and all time that we get to enjoy together. They feel like family to us and so the times feel both sweet and sad!

On Saturday afternoon, Emily, Terah and I enjoyed a walk with a very unexpected ending. Due to Emily's bravery (remember my aforementioned feelings of shyness), we stopped in to meet some neighbors we have wanted to meet for months (actually it's been close to 2 years since they moved to Ktown we found out). We were so graciously welcomed into their home, served a Kurdish feast which we enjoyed with them, and visited for close to two hours before heading home. We look forward to reciprocating soon and are grateful for new friendships and to be able to extend a warm welcome, especially to neighbors who are no doubt hearing messages of exclusion, unkindness and discrimination. It was amazing to me how well Terah did in this new environment, completely won over when they offered her a banana. Maybe she also sensed how special and unique the time was. 

As this week without Alida comes to an end, I feel glad for it! I feel grateful for her special time away building memories with grandparents. I feel grateful for more concentrated time with Kali. And I'm eager and ready to have Alida back in the mix. I was once again amazed by how the complexity seemed to drop by way more than 1/5 just by removing one member from the household. There is some sort of tipping point between 4 and 5 that seems to exponentially change things. While we remained quite occupied this week (because that's just what we do), it felt calmer in some regards. That is good, since once again Terah is in a stretch of sleeping horrendously! Maybe she needs Alida to help wear her out during the day. Let's hope!

Ok, I can see the color changing on the mountain outside as the sun starts to set. Terah and Kali are hanging out some laundry to give it a head start on drying tomorrow. I better take over so that Kali can get a little carrot digging in before dark. I'll end here with a few videos for your entertainment!

Kali's pet chicken Buttercup is spending her days with the ducks. I think she is starting to think she is a duck. This video was taken right after I caught her trying to strain her neck to get grass out of the water pan like the ducks were doing. Silly chicken!

Terah is still giving me near heart attacks several times daily. You turn your back and she is trying to get on some piece of furniture. She is insatiable! It's funny sometimes and frustrating at others. She would spend as much time on top of the dining room table as we'd let her. It has made working in the kitchen nicely in that she pretty reliably enjoys joining me there sitting on the counter while I cook.


And, finally, while it was a little calmer this week, Terah did her best to make up for Alida's noise missing. This is not a calm or quiet child! She is so funny right now loving to scare us by coming up and saying "boo" which sounds more like "ba" when she does it. And when we act very scared, this tickles her to no end. She does love her life (when we aren't keeping her from climbing) and I'm glad!

A bunch of tidbits - a scrapbooking post!

So other than organizing a vasectomy party, what have I/we been up to you might be wondering? Most days, much of the same: cooking, cleaning (kind of), laundry, changing diapers, nursing a baby, office work, dishes, listening to Alida's stream of consciousness, trying to keep Terah out of danger, reminding Kali to take care of her ducks, playing Rook, testing popcorn, going for walks, and we must not forget to mention adoring a little cousin/niece when she comes to visit! Terah even enjoyed holding Ivy for a long time on her last visit (since she was finally "germ-free" and could fulfill her desires to get her hands on her little cousin). I have no pictures of that, since I was occupied making sure she used all her skills of being gentle, and didn't poke her in the eye! These beautiful girls and budding sweet relationships give me hope and joy in a time when I so easily swirl into despair and anxiety (pretty much anytime I spend more than 10 seconds on facebook). 

Yes, we have not gotten out of the habit of photographing our food! I try to use some restraint but when our morning brunch includes roasted garlic and sweet potatoes, a potato crusted spinach ricotta quiche and a potato crusted sausage mozzarella quiche, it is hard not to take a picture. It brings back very fond memories - of the food and the people that ate it with me. It feels so satisfying to eat a meal like that in which almost every ingredient has passed through our hands multiple times - harvesting the potatoes to washing and shredding them, picking and blanching the spinach, butchering the hog and then grinding the sausage and then on the day of spicing it with our dried sage and fennel, getting the milk from our local farmer and making mozzarella and ricotta, and the list could go on! The memories of digging the sweet potatoes with the girls or planting and harvesting garlic - all these things make the process of making a meal so much more deeply satisfying!

After those deeply satisfying (and rather rich) meals, it feels good to get some fresh air and exercise. That part of the equation is not happening nearly as often as I would like - since getting all the young folks bundled up and ready to go out at the same time often feels like more than I can accomplish. But since Terah is normally down to 1 nap/day right now it has made the days feel a little less like a scheduling nightmare and easier to figure out moments when we have a block of time to enjoy the outdoors. And nothing seems to motivate Terah more than an offer to go outside. That is where she is currently - enjoying playing with the ducks and Buttercup with Kali! They went out after our brunch and have been out long enough for me to do most of the supper prep I needed to get done and the dishes and might I be lucky enough to also finish a blog post? 

Yesterday we went for a "girls' walk." Jason is busy working on the "winter cut back," which is more or less doing a once over on the whole property and cutting back/out some things, moving some things, pruning, etc... So while he chipped away at that multi-day/week project, we went for a wagon ride/walk. Terah is not fond of nappy walks right now so our better timing for walks is after she wakes from a nap. She'd like to walk, but can normally be persuaded to ride (at least for awhile). She's pretty cute trying to walk in her tennis shoes and her snow suit and bulky coat. Sometimes she falls flat on her face because she is a bit off balance with all the gear on. But she doesn't seem to mind. She has walked all the way up the hill with me to visit our neighbors and seems proud of her strong little legs. 

When we got back from our walk, we hung out with the ducks and Buttercup for awhile so they could get some outdoor playtime. Buttercup now spends her night in her coop and her days with the ducks. It's hilarious because it kind of seems like she has assumed they are now her adopted family. The ducks will waddle off in a line and Buttercup will run to join them. She seems to have adjusted to the new routine quite well and it's pretty funny to watch her with them. The reason they are not getting more time out is we continue to have a heck of a time with predators. Currently Jason is trying to catch/kill a fox that has mange and looks really miserable. It would be mercy to put it out of its misery, and would also mean it would not be acting desperate for food. I heard two shots yesterday morning and assumed that he had been successful, only to learn that instead it was a mink that had been under one of the chicken coops and was acting funny. Our neighbor helped him track it down and after killing it learned that it was probably blind in one if not both eyes. It also did not appear to be well. Sadly, it was later that day that Jason realized that the mink had been successful in maiming one of his hens through the wire of the coop. So that hen will be in a soup pot by the end of the day - another very obvious mercy killing. These are not our favorite things about life on the farm, but it is all part of it!

So that's a few snippets of news from the homestead. I am trying to be present to these beautiful times with our daughters! They are precious and fleeting (in that they are all very set on growing up super fast)! But it would be a lie to say that our minds and emotions often stray to things happening near and far from our homestead. Our hearts ache for loved ones who are facing hard questions as they deal with advanced prostate cancer and for the many who are at the receiving end of so much hatred and injustice in our world. It's an ongoing struggle for us to discern where our energies can make the most positive impact...

But the outdoor play time is up and a nap is on the horizon. So I'll end with not 1 or 2 but 4 videos! Terah clearly is most prominent in our video postings so I thought I'd include one here of Alida and one of Kali too.

To start here is one of Terah feeling VERY proud of her new skill. She's been "helping me" blend things for quite some time but the other day discovered she is strong enough to do it all by herself. Now none of us are supposed to help her!

It's so fun to see how little people watch the big people around them and before you know it you see them trying to follow in your footsteps. That can be a good or bad thing depending on the circumstances. Terah brushing her teeth is pretty fun to watch, even if she is not quite tall enough for her spit to get where it's supposed to go:

Alida is our creative and imaginative one right now. She comes up with songs and poems and stories and new family members on a daily basis. Sometimes I will admit that my own mind is swirling and I tune her out. When I tune back in, it's often good for a smile or chuckle. Not sure what inspired her dreaming of growing up "tall and broad" but here she is! She also is cute making up words, when she forgets one that we used that wasn't a familiar term for her. We got home from the co-op the other night where we had splurged on a few apples and some organic cheese to go with our popcorn testing. I was in nursing Terah and heard her talking excitedly to Jason about how we had "bulged" at the co-op. 

And, finally, Kali with her ducks and chicken. We were trying to get a picture and then I realized I was videotaping instead, and then the ducks were not cooperating with staying put. They thought Kali was trying to herd them home. They are funny! Enjoy...

Inventing a rite of passage

The culture we find ourselves in is falling down on the job in quite a few ways.  For that I, Jason, believe we have to blame capitalism, mass media, and the histories of colonialism and industrialism, among other factors.

One of the deficits we experience is a lack of reliable and helpful rites of passage.  People can't really tell when they have grown up or aged to a given point, and there is little by way of a circle of support or encouragement available to most of us in times of life transition.  I am generally kind of bitter and disgruntled about this...I think these and other gaps in cultural function are behind much of the psychological malaise we are so apt to over-medicate.

I have just such a life transition coming up, and in thinking ahead to it I was having some trouble moving forward.  My intuition pointed to a need for some community affirmation and support; I knew there was not a ready-made process for it, but I could feel the need.

But in a way the culture is less to blame for this time.  I can't imagine any longstanding traditional culture having crafted a rite of passage for voluntary sterilization, A.K.A vasectomy.

That's right, dear reader, I am scheduled for the ol' snippy-snip!  Big move, but it is time.  We are both quite clear that our last child is our last child.  No trouble with that decision.  But we were having a dickens of a time deciding which method to pursue.  More specifically, I was having a dickens of a time swallowing the notion of a vasectomy for myself.  But it took some plumbing of the depths to figure out why.  The procedure itself?  Fearsome in its way, but in the end no big deal.  The risks?  Pretty tame for the vast majority.  The benefits?  Real and clear.  Sooo...duh, right?

Wrong, apparently.  It took a while to realize that it was a grief process and a life transition for myself that I was contending with.  Maybe I'm the only one (so far I haven't encountered anyone else), but I feel kind of sentimental about my intact reproductive system.  All I have to do is look at these three wonderful beings (our kids) that live and grow here with us to get all internally weepy about it at any moment.  To me the fertility process is a source of wonderment and meaning.  One of the great privileges of my life has been to choose procreation:  to take the trove of traits stored in my gonads and mix them with my partner's own set to bring the wealth of our human genetic history forward into the next generation.  Is that not enough to astound the mind?  Your average mink or heron does this without probably much awareness of the implications..can procreation for them even be thought of as a choice?  But I am a human, so I did choose it, with all the awareness and appreciation I could muster, and I am very grateful.

The other side of that coin is that humans can also imagine the implications of procreation when wisdom would suggest holding off, and so are faced with a different kind of choice.  The animal in me recoils at the thought of purposely altering my body, permanently, so as to prevent any further pregnancies.  What self-respecting life form would ever make such a choice?  Even for humans, this notion is relatively new.  Prevention of pregnancy through various means is not new...many traditional cultures had ways of establishing spacing and procreation patterns that helped them craft a way of life commensurate with their setting.  But destroying one's fertility?  That's another matter.

Bit of a dilemma.   Logically, the choice was clear.  Emotionally, it daunted me.  I decided I needed some help convincing myself that the time was really upon me.  I didn't want to go into the procedure unready.  I needed a ritual.  I told Janelle in one of our conversations on the topic that what I felt like I wanted was to be able to go the village elders and tell them I thought I was ready to be sterilized, and for them to say, "Oh, what makes you think so?"  Then, having thoroughly questioned me and heard my justification, they would say, "Well, maybe you're right, I suppose it is time.  We'll notify the medicine woman and the musicians, and you tell your family to prepare their blessing.  We'll bring the special costume and ceremonial mask to the meeting hut the first day of next week.  Everyone else will gather for the ceremony and feast at sundown, but you show up an hour earlier for a cleansing bath."

Barring that, we threw a little party.  I sent out an email invite to a few selected-for-the-purpose male friends with "Vasectomy Party" in the subject line.  With characteristic wit my friend Tim replied-to-all, "Another great party concept by Jason Myers-Benner."  This called to mind images of a Tupperware-like gathering where deep discounts on quality vasectomies would be available to party-goers, with a urologist on premises and all normal waiting periods waived.  I reassured the fellows that there would be no sales pressure.

What we did have in mind was a simple discussion/support circle, some snacks, and a little ping-pong, time permitting.  I came up with a bit of subject matter that suited my needs as best I could discern them, and waited for the RSVPs.  To my surprise, this was one of the more popular gatherings I have called.  I think we ended up with over a 75 percent affirmative response rate among locals.  My interpretation of it was that other guys were eager for a chance to talk about the subject.

The gathering itself and the nature of the discussion corroborated the hunch.  Simply put, it was great.  Just what I needed, or as close as it was going to get.  Guys shared their experience of and wisdom around vasectomy, others their own misgivings or ignorance...a good time was had by all.  The snacks, provided by Janelle with some loosely themed on symbolism and visual form related to male genitalia, were gratefully consumed, and the ping-pong session hit the spot.  In the end, maybe just scheduling something and getting people to show up met the biggest part of the need, and I was lucky enough that it was a meaningful and affirming time, to boot!

So, DIY ritual?  Sort of.  And it seems to have worked.  I am looking towards the vasectomy date with a calm confidence as my dominant mode.

Launching T.W., illness, and family times

As our regular readers may remember, Jason's 2016 prediction (really more like a resolution) was to read one book/month. We expanded that to include a family process for deciding which book, and then Jason reporting back to us via a written book report (which was posted in this space for interested readers). This year's focus is on carving out writing time for Jason - the long term dream is a book, the short term goal is a blog post each month on our website! As of today the intro for 2017, with some reflections pertinent to this day in our country's history, is up (see http://tanglywoods.com/our-fill-in-the-blank/) and January's post is on the home page: http://tanglywoods.com/. If you'd like to receive notifications in the future of new postings, just go to the home page, scroll down, and on the right you will see a "subscribe via email" option. This writing experience will be all the richer for Jason (and for our whole family) if folks engage with him in response to it - so your comments, critiques, affirmations, questions, stories, etc... are all welcome!

In my arms as I type this post is a sacked out 15 month old. She's had quite the week, which means we've had quite the week! About a week ago she spiked a fever. For 3-4 days she was our cuddle bug, and when with me nursing almost nonstop (which is likely why I'm once again nursing a plugged duct as she feels better and slows her frequency of nursing again - argh!). She didn't have a lot of other symptoms, so we were a bit perplexed by the whole thing. She was plenty crabby, and was once again sleeping horribly at night. She would cough every now and then and seemed to have a sore throat. She also seemed a bit off balance and we caught her playing with her ear a few times. Strep throat? Ear infection? She never seemed lethargic, more just washed out by days of a fever on and off. Finally the fever subsided on day 4 and within hours I noticed a rash cropping up on her torso/face. Something clicked in my mind and a little internet research confirmed that she likely had Roseola or Fifth Disease. We were glad that was a closer match to her symptoms than say scarlet fever (which we were also googling!). So it seemed the best course was to carry on/ride it out!

We are still riding it out, but we think the major waves are beyond us. Sleep has improved for her, and therefore me, in the last night or two, and she will take off to play with her sisters again for snippets of time (not needing to be in my arms 24/7). She had two especially rough days this week - my office days. It seems she can now remember loved ones when they are gone and the one day she spent the first 1/2 hour of the day walking around the house looking for me, accompanied by pitiful wailing (or so I was told). Hate that! I'm glad today she is much more of her spunky self - in other words trying to climb on things again and get herself into all sorts of dangerous predicaments).

We decided to proceed with our family night plans last evening since it seemed that a diversion would be good for all of us (and since all signs pointed to the contagious stage of her illness being pre-rash). So despite her face looking pretty bad at points in the evening (it seems to come and go, sometimes hardly noticeable and sometimes rather impressive looking), we enjoyed our night on the town. We've been aiming for one family night/month (that was 2016's plan), where we each take turns planning the night. Of course, never content to leave things as they are and always good at mixing things up to make them more complicated, our 2017 added a new twist. We now plan one family night together each quarter, we each get to plan one family outing a year (so one each quarter since Terah's not ready to get in the line up yet) and then one family retreat day each quarter (we each get to plan one of those days). The retreat days have the parameter of not getting in the car. The jointly planned family nights and the individually planned ones can include an outing and possibly the expenditure of some cash to make it happen. So still 1 thing/month, I just have to make sure to keep track of what that 1 thing is. Our kids get so into planning these things and it is clearly making special memories so it's worth it!

Yesterday's was more of a family afternoon/evening, as we picked up the girls around 2:30 from their friends' home in time to get to town to check out the Fire Department's Museum (closes at 4). We all agreed it was interesting to go, we enjoyed our time there (we had the place to ourselves) and we are unlikely to feel the need to return. It was a great impetus for talking together about fire safety and establishing our meeting spot outside (the far end of the pine trees) in case of a fire. We also determined that some future family time will need to include the fun of practicing getting out various rooms through the windows. We'll try to keep it light, as Alida is at the age/stage where things can easily inspire fear in her. I think the museum and the games there and the bag of goodies she came home with was a good way to address the subject with her. She wasn't, however, interested in donning the gear!

I mistakenly left my camera at home so snapped a few pictures at the museum with my phone and then just soaked up the rest of the evening without a thought to pictures. The one plus of a family outing to town is we were able to park in one location and walk to everything from there, using the car as our pit stop for diaper changes, restocking supplies, unloading things accumulated, etc...

After the museum, we went to the Visitor's Center by the main library for Kali to get some brochures of things she might like to do for our next family night that she is in charge of. Terah snagged a nap in my arms while I sat in one of the side rooms there and watched a video on the civil war battles that took place in the Shenandoah Valley. I left feeling rather pensive, to say the least (as I looped through the entire video more than once while she nursed), as I pondered the valley's history and thought about its future.

Next stop: well the library of course. We are now well stocked with new reading material for the next few weeks. And it was even a productive visit as both Jason and I had outdated library cards so they are now renewed (I knew about mine and it had been on my mental list to take care of for months - didn't even know Jason's was out of date so we got that taken care of before it ever made its way to a list!). After we relieved our arms of the bags of library books, we set off the fill our bellies.

Our initial plan had been the Indian & American Cafe. But we had enjoyed walking around town and looking at the other restaurant options that we had never tried before. We ended up deciding on a Mexican restaurant that we were told by a customer, while we were standing outside looking at the menu, served excellent food. We enjoyed the chips, salsa, burritos, quesadillas, and fajitas. I don't consider myself super picky when it comes to food - I can enjoy a wide variety of foods. And it was a fun new experience to have as a family and the girls enjoyed their time (including the spiral staircase we took to get to our dining location)! I imagine you know a "but" is coming. It's just hard to have that compare to this morning's brunch: roasted sweet potatoes with garlic, potato crusted ricotta spinach quiche and potato crusted pork sausage and mozzarella quiche. Truly a hearty Tangly Woods meal that spoils us for most restaurant fair!

We made it home in time for Jason to keep working at his writing project (mentioned above) and for us to fit in a little popcorn taste testing (gotta keep moving on that project or we won't know what seed to use come planting time!). It's such a hardship! :) The girls and I played some rounds of Phase 10 until it was clear that the day needed to end so we could all get refreshed for the next one. Terah's been so clear when she wants to cuddle and fall asleep. She'll even walk crying to the recliner in our bedroom and pat it or lean on it. Still no explosion of words, but she can communicate what she wants most of the time! She did that again this morning when she determined it was nap time - off to the bedroom she went beckoning me to join her! And that is where we still are and I better shift gears to get some work done before she wakes...

VABF Conference report by Jason

At the urging of some close friends (one of whom is on the board of VABF…no conflict of interest there), we decided to finally cave to the gravity of the Virginia Association of Biological Farming, by which I mean Kali and I went to the conference.  I think I have known about the association since within a few years of its inception, since around that time is when I was spending an afternoon per week at Glen Eco Farm, and Marlin and Christine Burkholder have been members all along, so far as I know.

But I am not especially a joiner.  It is way too easy to get spread way too thin with involvements, and conferences are not cheap.  I have always thought it was a good idea to have a VABF.  Glad people are doing it.  But I wasn’t convinced our connecting to it would be important enough to either them or us for us to put the time and money into it.

Maybe that was right, and maybe it was stupid.  But whether we’re late on the draw or finally ready, I think the timing was good for connecting with the Association and some of its members, a few of whom I already knew.  I am not especially an online person, so although many of the connections and most of the information technically could be available other ways, I for one still believe there is no substitute for the person-to-person element.

I think I’ll just do a brief chronology of the three days, with maybe a comment or three as I deem it helpful for our family’s memory-keeping and anyone else’s getting a taste of the events.

We left home Monday the 9^th with a few bags and pillows and sleeping bags and a trunk full of chickens.  Oh, and a mandolin, just in case.

The chickens were bound for the home of some early-stage homesteading friends deep in the Allegheny Mountains of Highland County.  Appropriately enough, these were Allegheny chickens: one of my poultry (hopefully not paltry) inventions.  They were the last Alleghenies I had.  This sale represented the completed launch of the breed into its intended bioregion.  The delivery was a pleasure in itself; if the flocks of this breed serve their caretakers well and it flourishes, then any association I continue to have with it will involve trips to the Allegheny Mountains, and visits to farms and homesteads perched on mountainsides, tucked into hollows, or—as in the case of this one—both.  We spent an hour or a bit more getting the chickens settled, talking over their Mangalitsa pigs, and walking the lane and yard of the home these fine folks are working so hard to grow in a place so achingly beautiful you could forget to leave.  On the way back to our car, we discussed parenting, schooling, homeschooling, unschooling.  Chickens are the context or excuse for these kinds of contacts, but the substance is connection to land, home, family, others—a restoration of what industrialists and capitalists have buttered their bread by disrupting.  The image that sticks in my mind is the little group of us entering their tiny off-grid cabin (still under construction…they live elsewhere for the moment), coming in out of the 16 degree mountain evening that was pushing its cold right through our clothes.  I won’t say it was warm in there (though the buckets of water were not frozen…yay for passive solar design!), but compared to outside it was so welcome.  Their baby stopped fussing, we all relaxed our taught, stiff muscles a bit.  As we walked away back to their car, there was such a distinct impression of one definition of home:  a little spot you’ve made where you can find some relief from the cold.

Where was I?  Oh, yes, heading to the conference.

What a shock.  The conference was held at the Omni Homestead Resort in Hot Springs, VA (Bath County).  Our entire home, plus in-law quarters, would easily have fit into the lobby.  Twice.  Maybe four times by volume.  Not kidding.

Of course, we couldn’t get into the lobby right away.  First we had to turn down multiple offers of valet parking (we had been tipped off that tips are expected, and I only had eight bucks in my wallet) and find the overflow self-park lot.  After being nearly forcibly separated from our bags, we went in and figured out room stuff, the details of which might make entertaining writing if neither you nor I had anything better to you.  Let’s laugh about it over tea later.  I’ll just say funny things happen when you are crashing on the floor of a friend’s suite in a swanky resort.

Anyway, once getting our heads back on our shoulders by giggling with our friends about how silly it all was, Kali and M (Kali’s good bud) and I went to the pool.  I am not sure whether it was the water (we were staying at a hot springs, after all), but if so they added Chlorine in quantity.  But there was something about it that was different, since I was more buoyant than I can remember having ever been and I didn’t gain that much weight over Christmas.  So I’ll bet it was mineral water.  With bleach.

While there I taught the kids some classic splashing techniques, we did some contests, soaked, played sharks and minnows with two other conference families, etc.  It was a very luxurious pool, especially at the inlet, where bath-temperature water gushed from a semi-circular cascade.  It was fun at the pool to try to guess who was a regular swanky hotel guest and who was there with the conference.  The older couple that walked ahead of us to the pool suite had such a dignified affect, and seemed so at ease in the environment.  Bingo.  Rich folk.  Later I sat next to the husband at one of the sessions.  So much for that.  Maybe I deserved the water in my ear that bugged me as I went to sleep that night.

Other than water in my ear and some relaxing exercise, what I got out of the pool time was a possible gig at next year’s conference.  One of the sharks-and-minnows Dads, it turned out, was husband to the conference coordinator, who was soaking in the shallow end with some friends.  We made our acquaintance drying off at the poolside (awkward but disarming, I suppose, for a first contact), and I pitched my idea for a presentation then and there.  We were utterly without pens and paper at the time, but made more productive contact later.  It looks promising.  Topic:  bioregionally specific agriculture and food products as culture-builders and economic drivers.

In a way, that met my main goal for the conference, and I hadn’t even eaten the first continental breakfast!  The rest was gravy, man.

I would like to give a quick listing of all the sessions Kali and I attended together, for a record for us and a flavor sample for you.  Keep in mind this represents about one fifth of the total sessions offered:

The Big Food Talk—Meredith Leigh

Food philosophy and systemic patterns; where we are at this point in history. Perfect for me.

Winter Squash Breeding and Research—Edmund Frost

Involved a taste test!  We are selling spinach and onion seed through Edmund this year.

Pastured Poultry Production—Erica Hellen and Joel Slezak

Best technical session I attended.  Joel said they’d try some of our Shenandoahs!

Debt-Free Farmsteading—Hari and Karl Berzins

The 2008 crash stole their dreams and kicked them into the freedom we all need.

Sustainable Freshwater Aqua-Farming—Dr. Lynn Blackwood

Less applicable to us…wholly commercially focused.  Sustainable?  Maybe.

What is Biodynamic Agriculture?—Alex Tuchman

I didn’t know, and I was curious.  So I went.  Now I’m more curious.

Growing the Seed Garden—Ira Wallace

A few good tips, and a chance to watch Ira Wallace of SESE in action.  I admire her.

That’s it.  Then we went home.

But the in-between times: that is probably where the most action happened.  Based on things I said in Q and A forums a few people approached me about chickens or seeds.  I delivered seed for sale through Common Wealth Seed Growers, talked to soil experts and fellow agricultural nerds, bought a seed saving book, made a contact for another chicken workshop gig and even made a few new friends.  And Kali was there for the whole thing, and enjoying it.  I felt like a pretty lucky guy.

Many thanks to Janelle and her parents whose careful tending of people and animals made my attending and Kali’s a possibility.  I hope the payoff is rich for all of us.