No stage fright here!

We returned about 1 this morning after a second holiday trip to PA. This one was primarily to participate in a retirement party for my Mom, who has dedicated much time, energy and passion over the last 9-10 years to starting up and directing Compeer Lancaster (http://www.compeerlancaster.org/). While I certainly wouldn't have wanted to miss it, I also wasn't necessarily expecting it to be as personally meaningful as it was. I admit to feeling a bit surprised and self conscious when I could sense that the tears were going to start flowing and not easily be stopped during much of the program planned to honor Mom.

On our trip back to Keezletown, I attempted to articulate for Jason and myself what made that space and the service so touching. I imagine it was many things colliding at once in those 45 minutes: thinking of Mom's journey with cancer during the early years and being grateful for the gift of more years with her presence than, at moments, we thought we would have; sensing in that space how life transforming this program has been for many people who otherwise don't even have one meaningful friendship or much other fulfillment in their lives; sensing how much that differs from my own life that so often, even with challenges and pain, feels full and overflowing; thinking about the milestone of Mom's retirement and knowing that while it appears as a loss to some it is also one marker on the way towards their transition to WV and eventually to Keezletown, and the big year ahead as we undergo construction on their home attached to ours; and possibly most notable for me were the feelings attached to being in a space with over 100 people who I hardly knew and yet a good number of them knowing something (if not a lot) about me and my family. It was odd, and very touching, to have more people talk with me about Nora and express their heartfelt support and condolences in the short time we were there than at any other gathering that I can remember (other than memorial services). I'm still trying to soak in the uniqueness of that gathering...

The most fun part of the party was the post-party entertainment! Kali must have been eyeing the microphones and listening intently to the music during the short service. Prior to the party she was at the front dancing to her heart's content to the music coming from a small CD player (background music to most but to her ears it was all the people talking that was the background noise!).

She and her cousins C and T joined her on stage as people continued mingling, eating and eventually cleaning up. They enjoyed dancing, racing across the state, timidly talking in the microphones and then more and more boldly as time passed until "Row, Row, Row your Boat...Life is But a Dream" was being belted out for all to hear!

Prior to Grandma's party Kali and I were talking about it and Kali was curious about the idea of Grandma maybe feeling a bit nervous to be the center of so much attention. It was cute to see Kali thinking about putting herself in Grandma's shoes - she concurred that if there was a party for her with over 100 people there it would be fine if she didn't have to talk. If she had to talk she would not like it but if she could just be there she would like it. That's our girl!

However, put a microphone in her hand and get her on a stage and it seems that the shyness often noticed quite strikingly in interactions with people (even those fairly close to her) evaporates.