Started yesterday 11/16, the day of my court appearance, and finished up today when I'm a little more cooled off...
My goodness that is a discombobulating experience. I am not about to say that I know what others feel (especially those who are not white or don't have the correct papers or don't speak English as their first language) when pulled over by the police. And discombobulating is very different than dangerous! But it was an eye opening experience to realize how thrown off I felt as I fumbled for my registration and as the officer treated me very brusquely. After leaving me to sit and stew for a long time, he came back and gave me my ticket with a court date - no warning or option to just pay a fine. I did try to ask a few questions about the law and whether I could explain what I had been doing - he basically asked again if I was calling 911. That's apparently the only exception. He didn't care that I wasn't doing anything on my phone. He said they had done a year of education on this, that I had supposedly missed. I knew about the "no using hand held devices while operating a moving vehicle" kinds of signs. But I truly had missed the law change in 2021 that made holding a phone for whatever reason illegal with very little to no wiggle room on the penalty.
So fast forward to today. I got to experience an hour plus in a US court room waiting for my turn to appear before the judge. I left with one big takeaway: our justice system sucks so bad and makes no sense and seems to reduce many of those who have to interact with it into a number or a case or something altogether not human. I literally felt like I needed to scrape off the feelings it left all over and within me. Sure I'd read plenty about our "justice" system in my courses on restorative justice and I've heard second hand about other people's experiences. But I haven't sat and watched the pageantry in person and tasted how absolutely not restorative it is or experienced how it feels personally (for something so minor!).
In retrospect it feels silly to admit that I actually went into the experience with more curiosity than nervousness about it and with very naive and misguided assumptions that once I explained what had happened I'd be let off with just a warning. And maybe I could even share how dehumanizing the experience with the officer had been and how disrespected I felt. What was I thinking???
As I sat there for an hour and heard other cases, my heart sank and stomach churned. I tried distracting myself with the book I was reading and that worked partly. In some ways it felt weird to listen in on other people's lives being dictated by these people in suits listening hardly at all and just handing down sentences or pardon in some cases. No one was acting outwardly mean, but all just seemed like pawns in this very flawed system. It was a mix of cases of people being brought from jail for their hearing to simple traffic violations. As it got closer to my case (when the officer that stopped me was called to the stand), I found that I was in good company and that this officer was good at catching people holding their phones. I think nearly 1/2 dozen people before me got the same fine. And I watched as the interactions went like this:
Judge: You were stopped for having your cell phone in your hand. Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
Person: Guilty
Judge: Ok, I'm going to give you the $125 fine. You can sit down and wait until they call your name.
Done!
The one person noted that she was on an emergency phone call. That wasn't an exception if it wasn't 911.
I said guilty but that I misunderstood the law. He used this as an educational opportunity for the courtroom full of cell phone holders to note that the change in the law last year from texting while driving to holding your phone for any reason was very tight and there was little room to modify the fine. That was that!
I waited until I was called to get my paperwork and then stand in the line for the clerk where their credit card machine was broken and I didn't have nearly $200 cash so I will have to mail in payment. The $125 fine became $191 with court costs.
We have the money. I have the time. But what a stupid use of both!! And some people don't have the money or time. There was absolutely no reason for me to show up in a courtroom full of people (all unmasked as colds and covid surge around us) to say the word guilty if it wasn't going to be a conversation. I was so frustrated by the nearly $70 court costs added to the fine.
Have I changed my phone habits while driving. You bet! But mostly so I don't get caught. And I have stopped doing all the things that probably were more risky and feel glad for that reminder - the being stopped was enough for that (fine was unnecessary). But holding my phone while I talk with a friend is less distracting than trying to hand water bottles to my kids or pay attention to things they are asking or looking at. So clearly this was not a lesson that took into account the nuances of safety or helped me or anyone else think through practical solutions for not being distracted while operating a piece of metal moving at fast speeds. I'm very interested in those conversations. But not interested in people being slapped around for honest mistakes. Ugh!
The girls had come with me for moral support and got to spend the hour plus in the library. Terah was very pleased to get her very own library card!! We then went for the younger two to get their covid booster and to introduce them to Auntie Anne's pretzels, using a Red Cross gift card from my recent blood donation. We are now contemplating all kinds of soft pretzel flavors we could try at home!! So the end of the town trip was much better than the start, but I still felt pretty icky for a good while after returning home. Today is a much brighter day at home, other than having two kids on edge from their shots yesterday and who vacillate between a variety of emotions and states of being. But we are mostly riding the waves ok and glad for a lower key day to recover from yesterday!
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