Welcome home dinner!

We are home safe and sound from a few days vacationing with my family at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland. And all of us are home - we are happily reunited with Kali!! It was a little ways into our car trip home that Alida caught sight of Kali in the backseat of the car and she just stared at her for quite some time. I think she is very glad to have her big sister back - talking on the phone didn't quite cut it!

When I told Kali over the phone while she was in WV that eggplant had arrived at the farmers' market she quickly informed me that that would make a good welcome home dinner for her. Well, I hadn't been planning on a welcome home dinner, but things evolved from there and I would say that Kali's welcome home dinner this evening was a great success!! It didn't hurt that it included some of Jason's and my favorite foods of this time of year, and we enjoyed some of our garden's firsts. Our dinner was comprised of fresh string beans, the first cucumber dill salad and fried eggplant. The sun gold cherry tomatoes never made it to the dinner table.

For dessert, after Kali and Jason played a little frisbee and I watched Alida put herself to sleep again and while a fresh batch of blackberry jam was boiling away in the canner, we enjoyed organic ice cream cones, organic sprinkles (Kali only) and organic strawberry ice cream (all thanks to the newly opened Friendly City Food Coop http://www.friendlycityfoodcoop.com/ in Harrisonburg).

It's good to be home!!

The upcoming week is a "big one" for our family. Alida has yet to befriend the bottle and, after laying off with trying it consistently for the past week or so, I will head to work twice this week for a few hours each time to give Jason, Kali and Alida some practice with the bottle and without me. I don't think any of us are looking forward to those times right now, but are hoping for the best. The last few months have been such a gift and have held so many treasured times and built many sweet memories. I know there will be a lot more to come, and I am glad Jason will have more time with both girls soon. However, currently my worry and sadness about the upcoming transition definitely overshadows the potential benefits the changes to our household could hold. It will be much easier on all of us if Alida is willing to accept her mommy's milk through a different delivery system, though none of us blame her for wanting it in the way that has worked quite well for her for the past 3 plus months - she's not convinced that this change is necessary, which makes it hard for me to feel good about it.

To end on a more happy note, a Kali story: Kali tends to get fixated on certain things whether it be a food, a certain activity, a game we play together, a book or series of books she is reading, a hairdo or in this case an outfit. She has an outfit which she calls her "running clothes" that she loves. She wears it at almost every possible opportunity (to the point where I'm kind of glad when I can say that it is in the wash). Well, it was freshly washed this evening and so after her bath she of course wanted to wear it. As she was getting dressed, she said, "This is the kind of thing that I don't know how I lived without. If I didn't have these clothes I would have to run around naked at least 2/3 of the time." :)

Shared moments

I, Jason, write this at ten minutes to twelve. Why, you might wonder, are we still up at this hour when Alida's been asleep for hours, and Kali is not here to agitate for ever-later bedtimes?

The answer can be summed up in two words: "Movie Nights"

Yes, friends, Jason and Janelle have summoned some uncharacteristic media appetite and have watched, in five nights, five different movies:

Mumford
Lars and the Real Girl
Junebug
Amelie
Guantanamera

Rating them on a scale of one to five is too blunt an instrument, so suffice it to say that both of us got the most feel-good, old-fashioned movie buzz from Lars and the Real Girl. Beyond that, it depends what you like.

The fact that this baby of ours (photographed here - some of our recent favorites) made this rash of home cinema a possibility is something we treasure as a gift from her, albeit unawares. They tell you that each child is going to be totally unique and won't follow the patterns laid down by older siblings. With Alida, nowhere is this more true than in her fondness for beddy-bye. Let me tell the story of the start of this night's sleep.

Long about 8:15 (the usual time), it became clear that everyone would be happier if Alida were asleep. So after a clean diaper and some swaddling, it was "night-night time", one of her favorite times of day. However, in contrast to her usual pattern recently, she did not fall asleep nursing, but rather continued her kicking and general tired-baby thrashing while failing to settle into a nursing rhythm. Janelle decided to try a lullaby (the one I wrote for Alida). As Alida often will do during singing, she joined right in, making some of her own adorable vocalizations. This time, however, something made Janelle call me in to listen. It came as a bit of a shock to realize that her vocalizations were approximately in cadence with the phrasing of the song. That is to say that at the risk of making too much of it, I will venture that she seemed to be...well...singing along! I was dumbstruck, which is good because nothing I could have said would have improved upon what I had just witnessed.

And this on the same day as her first true laugh! At the supper table (while Janelle and I were enjoying without a seven-year-old's critique our meal of pickled eggs and beets, squash saute, and rolls with jelly or pesto), Janelle began an episode of one kind of tickling that Alida has been enjoying. To our parental delight, there emerged from Alida that longed-for sound--one of the few instinctive human vocalizations besides sneezing and sobbing--a clear and hearty giggle! She did it over and over until the game got old (for her...not us!). And we, the owners of a broken tape recorder, were left with no option but to preserve the moments in our memories. Which is where they really belong anyway. We can't wait to be reunited with our Kali-girl tomorrow (who has had a fabulous week in WV) and be able to share these moments with her again.

Dedicated to the earth's bounty...

I'm a happy gal!! Thanks to the generosity of friends who have access to an endless supply of wineberries, we enjoyed an evening out with friends picking until daylight waned in the shaded woods and came home with plenty of berries to freeze and to make jam tomorrow. And thanks to Alida who stayed up until almost 10pm and was very patient in the berry patch, even if she isn't old enough to snack on them with us.
Well, I went to add photos to this post and was going to put a bunch of garden produce and all the wonderful green goodness we are consuming these days. But instead I have once again picked out a bunch of my favorite pictures of Alida. She is experiencing so many new things these days and continuing to charm us with her smiles and coos/shrieks. She is enjoying playtime in her circle seat, trying out the doorway jumper for the first time and gnawing on her fingers at any opportunity she gets. Can she really be teething so soon? Oh, it is going so quickly!!
We are, however, loving our garden (and our garden fence) too. Right now we are eating a lot of kale and swiss chard and lambs quarter - in bread, pasta, sauteed, etc... And we just enjoyed our first garden potatoes last evening. And Jason and I (Kali is enjoyed a WEEK in WV with Grandma and Grandpa Myers and her cousin Christina) split the first sun gold cherry tomato. There will be plenty more where that came from. While it seems that we didn't get to near as much of the long "project list" during my maternity leave (which is sadly coming to an end at the end of this month) that we might have hoped to get to, we certainly are not needing to do much grocery shopping and our garden has never thrived in the way it is this year, thanks to the many hours Jason has been able to dedicate to it (and the previously mentioned garden fence).

And in case anyone is wondering where we are going to store all the produce, take a look!!! Jason did finish a project this week that had both my mom and me very excited a few days ago - we stocked the newly installed shelves of the root cellar with all my empty canning jars (after removing Jason and Kali from the shelves!!), to be filled in the coming weeks/months. We enjoyed putting the first canned things on the shelves too - the cherries that we processed the day Alida was born and a batch of blueberry jam made a few days before the completion of this project. Tonight I go to bed feeling very wealthy, in so many ways!

SHE DRANK FROM A BOTTLE!!!

This post includes VERY fresh news, and news that has me flooded with relief. Jason just said the words "empty bottle" to my great delight! We have been thus far, until just now, unsuccessful at encouraging/persuading Alida that breast milk from a bottle is worth drinking. My anxiety about the end of my maternity leave increased significantly after our most recent failed attempt, where Alida was quite upset by the end of it. But today she downed 2 oz and probably would have kept going, had I been more confident in the possibility she would take the bottle and had put more in. While there is plenty of other news, this post will need to be dedicated solely to this milestone - and it gives me a great excuse to post my current favorite picture of our gals. Just look at those smirks!

Trip to PA

It doesn't make a lot of sense that I'm up at 5:45am while all the rest of the family slumbers, including Alida who just roused to get a dry diaper and went peacefully back to sleep. But my mind is swirling and I'm not sure I could squeeze back in between Jason and Alida without waking them, so here I am.

We arrived home late yesterday afternoon from our first "big trip" with Alida to the Benner home place in PA. Going into it we were a bit apprehensive (with good reason) about how it would go, as Alida has yet to become a great friend of her carseat. It normally takes at least 4 1/2 hours to get there. It took 7 on the way up and 8 hours on the way home, both times requiring 5 stops. Thankfully we had allotted most of a day for the trip there and home so were able to attempt to relax about the many stops (I was most impressed with the Virginia rest area completely equipped with the first "family restroom" I've ever used!).

Alida just sneezed and woke herself up so we'll see how long a sleepy daddy can entertain her.

Kali was a trooper in the car - helping to entertain Alida, singing to her to help her fall asleep, and being really patient with the long trip. She didn't even dip into her "entertainment bag" much. But as we were leaving PA she did moan about how boring our home was going to be and how short our time in PA was. She had such a good time with her cousins and all the family around. Alida did also and was well loved and doted on the whole time. As we drove up the driveway upon our initial arrival, I felt a flood of emotions. I felt so grateful to be making the trek with Alida for the first time and felt sad that we never were able to do the same with and for Nora.

Now home I'm gearing up for my first entrance back into my "work life" with a two day working retreat we are hosting here at our home today and tomorrow. We'll see if I'm ready for this, and how Alida feels about joining me for two days of meetings. While she has played around with the bottle a few times at home and on the car trip, she hasn't used it as a means for getting a "decent meal" yet.

Well, she is ready for Mommy!!! Two quick final things worth noting. The week before we left on our trip we enjoyed three rainbows in the time span of 24-36 hours. It was the one benefit of our stormy weather and while Kali enjoyed the rainbows thoroughly, I'm not sure if she would say it was worth the storms (she seems to be following in her mother's footsteps with her apprehension of storms).

And on a different note, we harvested, shelled and froze the first hull peas from our garden which was exciting!! The garden is booming and hopefully the groundhog who is feeling very tantalized by the green beans growing right inside the fence will not be successful in entering as we are enjoying the bountiful harvest of green goodness from within the fence! Instead we are attempting to trap and harvest it to add to the growing amount of groundhog sausage in our freezer, which Kali loves!

Remembering together...

We enjoyed having a group of friends gather at our home on the evening of June 4th to remember Nora with us, celebrate her life and continue to the next stage of her garden (digging a pit that will hold water and have a seating area above it). While there is still a lot more digging to do, it was meaningful to start off the project with some extra hands and the support and company of persons that were/are so important to us and who have been a source of comfort and care in our journey with Nora. Our home was buzzing with activity and noise, with about as many children under 10 years of age as adults present. For me one of the most precious parts of the evening was watching Kali dig with enthusiasm in Nora's garden, and following that to thoroughly enjoy the company of our friends' children, who are now her friends. It feels good to plan things that she enjoys and can be part of that can hopefully build up some memories that will aid her in the journey ahead, if/when she finds herself needing to process more regarding her sister's death.

As it did last year the orange butterfly weed was in full bloom on the anniversary of Nora's death. And many other tastes and sights around us are also reminders, though I feel like I'm savoring them more this year than I did in 2008 - I had my first blueberry of the year on June 4th and while I remember thinking a lot about Nora while I ate blueberries in the days following her death, those days feel like a bit of a blur. We are also definitely enjoying much more produce from our garden this year because of the many hours Jason has been able to devote to it - thanks to my maternity leave!! Currently we are enjoying red onions, kale, swiss chard, lambs quarter, lettuce, snow peas, sugar snaps, various kinds of tea, nettles, and the hull peas are just about to come in. The weeds got the best of our spinach bed but we enjoyed many spinach salads before Jason mowed it off to get ready to plant the next crop in those beds. Kali and I are also enjoying eating our way to the mailbox these days, or just making trips out to the driveway for the sole purpose of snacking on mulberries. There is a batch of vanilla pudding in the fridge waiting to be eaten with mulberries.

I can't end a post without some "Alida-news." Last night I was convinced she couldn't possibly be my daughter. Here is how the nighttime went. She has started to make it very clear that she is ready for bed sometime in the 8 to 8:30pm range. This does not mean nursing to sleep in my arms - this means being put in her little swaddle sack and laying horizontal on the bed. She'll get a bit more cranky as she communicates with us that she is tired. I'm often trying to finish up one more thing, like a domino game with Kali and Jason last evening. When I take her into our bedroom and start changing her she calms down and when I wrap her little arms tight and velcro her shut she gives me a big grin. I turn off the light and then go about with the final clean up for the evening and getting myself ready for bed. She blinks and looks around the room, turning her head from side to side. I keep checking in on her assuming she must need me, must need to nurse to fall asleep, etc... Well, last night she didn't nurse at all after I put her in bed. She just eventually fell calmly asleep and slept for over 6 hours until she roused me around 3:30am to eat. This I am not used to yet, but I promise that I will be able to get used to it!! It's just so interesting to note, what I've always heard and believed, that every child is so unique and different. This difference is just particularly striking to me since sleep was very different with both Kali and Nora. We'll see what happens when I transition back to work and am not available to nurse Alida as desired throughout the day. Who knows, maybe she'll surprise us and also love the bottle - which we need to try soon! I imagine the chances are pretty good she might if her big sister is feeding her - though she is pretty fascinated with her Daddy these days too. We had a family meeting last evening to continue the conversation about getting ducks. We always end our meetings with a family hug. It was Alida's first family meeting since we haven't managed to squeeze one in since her arrival late March. That family hug felt so wonderful!! I love the people I live with!!

Napping alone!

Yes, that is right. I just left our bedroom where Alida is all swaddled up taking a nap on our bed. While she fell asleep I found myself reading through these early June days in 2008 on our Cascades of Light (http://myersbenner.blogspot.com/) blog. I may have drifted off to sleep there beside Alida if I didn't desperately need a tissue by the end of my reading. Life feels so good and full and beautiful right now. I don't often know how to hold together the absolute delight we take in Alida's growth and development with the deep feelings of loss of something so precious when I read about the days of letting go around the time of Nora's death. I was so grateful this week for a little orange butterfly that I came upon sitting on my shoe as I entered the house. It flew around the porch area long enough for me to take its picture. Orange butterflies have been a sweet reminder of Nora's spirit set free.

It sometimes seems that Alida and Nora don't have all that much in common, even though they have more than what comes immediately to mind, especially if we think outside of the realm of normal baby looks and developmental milestones. The main one I'm thinking of right now is that they both adore Kali. She was and is the sweetest big sister!! I'm so glad that Nora had her and that Alida has her to experience life with!!

We keep thinking that Alida couldn't possibly get any cuter, and then she does. She is "talking" a lot now and she has a lot to say sometimes. Jason is in Pulaski, VA this week working at some rebuilding after the recent tornadoes. He is going to note so many changes in her just after four days (and I should note that I would NOT be doing this blog entry if it were not for my mom who has been here helping this week and is currently cleaning my house while I type!!).

And before it becomes ancient history, one picture of our first brood of chicks successfully hatched from a broody hen. She is such a good mamma hen and watching the chicks "learn the ropes" from her has been really fun. They hatched on Jason's dad's birthday and the second brood started their hatch on my dad's birthday. We'll have an easier time than normal remembering those dates!!

More later but for now I'd like to be able to say that I did this entire blog entry during Alida's nap. :)