Two unique gals!

So I've had a growing list of things I've wanted to get updated on the blog (my "scrapbook" feels horribly out of date with some major events missing).  I haven't, for example, written anything about our two May weekends away - both fun and full of adventure and good times.  The first was Emily and Jonas' wedding - a much anticipated and special weekend celebrating with them.  The second was a trip to WV with two other families - it had been three years since we had last coordinated our schedules to get away together.  There could be much said about both, but I will just note one personal highlight that ran through both weekends. Our 14th wedding anniversary fell on the day before we left for the wedding weekend in PA.  We kind of mutually decided that we'll really celebrate next year (our 15th on the 15th).  What surprised me was how celebratory this year ended up feeling - having a wedding of two dearly loved ones right near our anniversary, and me spending my late night reading time on my writing from the weeks around our wedding, put me in a reflective mood (as well as feeling so very grateful for the living and loving Jason and I have done together these last 14 plus years).  While in WV we pulled out our wedding video and watched it with Kali and Alida for the first time. Very fun!  So fun that we pulled it back out when our friends arrived and watched parts of it with them, doing some reminiscing throughout (as well as plenty of laughter, a few groans, and more gratitude).

But all that was last month and as things go around here, lots happens on a daily basis and so the main focus of this post is to talk about our kiddos (the one napping and the one out in her bikini filling up the wading pool). It's hard to keep up with them right now.  Just when we think we have something figured out, it changes.  They are doing plenty of living and loving as well, and while I have moments where I could burst with frustration, I have more times where I feel I could burst with feelings of complete amazement and joy in our little family!

One of the more challenging things that keeps popping up now and again is the fact that Alida is two and in the age/stage where whatever the big people are doing is very interesting to her.  She wants to copy and join in and do whatever we are doing - especially what big sister, Kali, is doing!  This, 75% of the time, doesn't seems to bother Kali and she happily and willingly includes Alida in her activities.  But when it does bother her, it really bothers her and I haven't yet found an approach to her anxiety and frustration about it that seems to really help.  She doesn't want them to be the same people.  Neither do we!  But to date there seem to be many signs pointing to the fact that they won't be, and even now aren't!  I'll share just a few here (and Kali would likely not approve of portions of this post, but I'm hopeful that down the road she'll be glad to read it...let's hope anyway!). So now for the 3 S's...

Sleep: Kali doesn't "need" sleep.  For as long as I can remember that is her firm stance, one that cannot be disproven by any amount of scientific research because they have not studied her.  But there is no doubt that when she sleeps, she really sleeps!  One of the big changes for us, however, is that she no longer wishes to have one of us lay with her while she falls asleep.  Years ago we decided to give up the fight on this one.  I was never a confident sleeper growing up and remember feeling very fearful at night, most nights.  While not always convenient, it felt good and right for us to provide Kali with a feeling of closeness and security at night. And we figured if Alida was sleeping with me anyway, we might as well spread around the nighttime cuddling.  So we dropped it, knowing it would not last forever, but recently Kali said she wanted to try an experiment. I thought it would never come and then all of a sudden a one night experiment turned into forever, or so it seems.  She noted that she is not as hot and has more room with just her in her single bed. Good thinking (and timing with summer right around the corner).  So she is still our night owl, reading until she can't keep her eyes open (but note that her eyes getting heavy does not mean she is tired or needs sleep!).  Alida has a bit of a night owl tendency in her but she shows true signs of tiredness in a way that Kali never did (the little gal gets cranky!).  And she seems to almost welcome sleep - both naps and nighttime.  And she still likes to be near her mommy (well the emergency milk supply), for now!

Soccer: Kali just finished her first soccer season and loved it!  She'll likely be doing it again this fall.  She was very motivated to be part of every practice and game and she has never done her duck chores so fast as when we need to get moving to go to soccer!  It felt like a big step for her to want to do this on her own and it seems like it moved her forward both in her confidence interacting with others socially and in her soccer skills. I still wouldn't say that to date she shows a high natural aptitude for the sport, but the league is a perfect place for her to try it out with coaches that are way more into gaining experience, having fun and teambuilding than in winning. 

I learned that I'm not going to be a quite spectator...My two most humorous moments to date included watching Kali turn a complete 360 when her coach hollered to her to "turn around" when her back was facing the ball and then watching her at least twice almost follow the player she was marking off the field when a sub was coming in for her.  It's cute to hear her analyze her own play and wonderful to sense her super attitude about playing - seldom even knowing what the final score of the game was.  The noncompetitive nature of this league is probably best demonstrated by the fact that you don't forfeit a game if you don't have enough players, the other team just gives you some of theirs so the game can go on!

Well, soccer, is the one place where we have the most "rub" right now as Kali wants it to be her thing (even after informing her than millions of people play soccer worldwide!).  She has given some mixed messages though because she was very supportive of Alida having her own soccer bag to go to practices with her own soccer ball.  But of late she tries to get Alida to play with our football when she is kicking soccer - only minimally successful.  The fact is that Alida has quite the little foot and it wouldn't shock me in the least if in the end Kali moves on from soccer to other things and Alida actually is the one to stick with it. Who knows. Here's Alida at it:


  
Secrets: This is probably where Alida and Kali's personality seem to be showing a very striking difference.  Kali is very private.  This, for her external processing mother, is not an easy thing!  And the more one tries to get something out of Kali, the less likely you are to do so.  Actually I don't think it really makes a difference what approach you take, you will not get something out of Kali that she doesn't wish to offer. There are benefits to this approach, of course.  But I'd certainly be grateful for a few more glimpses into her mind and heart, on personal matters (she will gladly have an abstract or theoretical conversation anytime!).

Alida is our little "open book" gal right now.  Of course that might change over time but I'm enjoying the contrast and found it particularly helpful the other day.  

So Alida just melts when Kali reprimands her - trembling lips, sobbing and cries of "mama."  I was hanging laundry the other day while the girls played on the porch. I heard Kali say, "Alida, don't do that."  Silence and then the request again a bit more forcefully.  Soon Alida was coming my way crying.  For the next 5 minutes or so I tried to get Kali to tell me what Alida had done that was so troublesome so that I could more easily talk with Alida about it. It was clear I was fighting a losing battle as Kali was not going to tell me.  She seemed to think that her telling Alida not to do it was enough and that if she told me then Alida would just pick something worse to do. I think she was reading into Alida's intentions a bit too much, but I was completely in the dark as to what Alida had done.  Of course my curiosity was peaked but I've learned that I might as well just drop it as I'm not going to get anywhere.

It was hours later that inspiration hit - why not ask Alida what she did?!   We were in the kitchen, and I just nonchalantly asked Alida what she had done that morning that had bothered Kali so much. Without missing a beat she informed me that she had put a boogie on Kali.  It was hard to not laugh really hard at that moment.  A quick check in with Kali confirmed that I had been offered the truth.  Now, I'm still clueless as to why this was top secret information on Kali's part, but clearly Alida had no trouble offering it!

So I'm trying to love and cherish the ways in which our girls are similar and different and hope we can help them to honor those things too.  Kali doesn't seem to mind they they are both thrilled with their new swimsuits!  I'm not sure how Kali will feel if Alida wants to get pigs - it would be different than her but that might be pushing it.  Speaking of animals, three quick tidbits. Kali was out on the walk the other day when a very small wood duckling showed up.  That's right, one very small peeping wood duck!  We caught it and a day later my dad and Kali delivered it to a wildlife rehab center.  We have a patient number to call and check up on it.  It was a cute and very wild little thing - it didn't waste a moment trying to get out of the cardboard box we had put it in.

I'll give the sad news next and then end on a happy note.  So we had another brood of baby chicks hatch under a mama, giving us three mama hens sitting on chicks.  This morning when Jason went to the low coop with a mama on each side, he found a very injured hen and two chicks missing on one side and a slightly injured hen and one missing chick on the other.  It makes us sick to even think of it, but clearly a raccoon got under the coop and dismembered and pulled out the baby chicks through the wire. Jason knew that raccoons could be a problem, but thought the gauge wire on those coops was not only snake proof but "other critters" proof. Not so.  We'll be doing something different for them tonight but that doesn't make it feel much better today.  Jason will need to do some work on the one hen and will probably try to give her remaining chicks to the other mother hen tonight (hoping she'll bond with them) so that the hen can hopefully recover from her injuries.  Very sad!

Lastly, I think we are not going to classify my mason bees as an "animal." We've had a "one new animal" a year policy for the last number of years (and that has included babies).  Well, we went to see some baby goats the other night.  That is a very dangerous thing to do if you are not planning to purchase them.  Oh, they were cute and so persistently friendly.  Alida was sure about their boldness, but I found it very endearing. The one little fellow figured out the zipper on my sweatshirt and was successfully pulling it up and down. The one is black and white (Oreo) and the other brown, black and white (Cookie Dough).  They need their mama for another 6 weeks or so but then I have a feeling they will be making Tangly Woods their home.  We forgot to take pictures, so check back...

Now back to some veggie and fruit processing - I could spend all day just bringing delightful treats from the outdoors in for processing and it is only early June.  We continue to enjoy strawberries daily in many forms, fresh greens of various kinds and the sugar snap and snow peas are coming on (though I doubt any of those will even get cooked before they are consumed).  We are grateful for such abundance and the fruits of labor that we find so much fulfillment in!